IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, university students study near their home and live with their family, while in others students have to study in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays university students around the world have the opportunity to study near their home.
However
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, living away from their family might be better,
due to
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 the learner could have enhanced independence and cultural exposure.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons why the advantages of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages. First of all, one main idea is enhanced independence: it allows to people gain new life skills
such
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 as learning to manage their own schedules or daily necessities.
For example
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, I am from Colombia but I am living in Spain doing my PhD, and
this
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 experience has helped me improve my economic and social independence, because, I have had to learn to manage my money.
Consequently
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, staying in another country helps with personal autonomy.
Secondly
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, cultural exposure is another idea why living in
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
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 is better. A person who is learning near their parents, can not take the experience to extend the knowledge about other culture. In the case of a student who does not know about the culture of another country, could not understand different behaviours and broaden their horizons.
For
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this
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 reason, it is crucial to know about another civilization.
To sum up
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, a student who lives without their parents in another city could enforce some life skills,
such
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 as autonomy and knowledge about multiple cultures.
Consequently
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, people who want to study should to decide
living
Wrong verb form
live
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 in another place with a long distance from home, if they want to improve their autonomy skills and dive into other cultures.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each main point is fully developed and clearly linked to the overall argument. Provide a more structured approach to each paragraph to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Provide more detailed arguments for your points and ensure each example directly supports the point it's linked to. Clarifying the connection between ideas will improve comprehensiveness.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay and outlines the main thesis that the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages.
relevant specific examples
Use of personal example enhances the credibility of the argument and provides a clear perspective on how living abroad can enhance independence.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reinforces the thesis that living away from home is beneficial for personal growth.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Independence
  • Life skills
  • Broaden horizons
  • Cultural exposure
  • Network
  • Loneliness
  • Homesickness
  • Adaptability
  • Financial burden
  • Student debt
  • Academic responsibilities
  • Social freedoms
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