In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience

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The debate over whether to attend your local university and keep in contact with family or select to move a bit far away from your home is a long-standing conflict that many students have gone through before deciding.

Although

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both approaches have their own benefits and drawbacks, I believe that studying in a college distant from family has substantial benefits which I will discuss

while

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comparing both.

To begin

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with, there are many advantages to living separately in another city,

firstly

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, when you are on your own, you will need to build up new skills just to overcome new challenges, and by learning new skills and solving problems solely, personal growth will occur.

For instance

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, when someone is distant from their parents, who were always responsible for finances, preparing different meals several times a day, and keeping many unknown challenges far far away from them, that individual will start to learn to live off of his salary with a job, wash his cloth, prepare his own meal and deal with conflicts.

On the other hand

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this

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lifestyle is not suited to everyone because of some serious factors

such

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as unique and different personalities. Unlike many, some people find it difficult to communicate over social media with their loved ones and prefer to be in touch and be able to visit anytime they want.

In addition

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, often parents and children are too dependent on one another and can not imagine a distance between them.

Nevertheless

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, studies have shown that individuals who separate from their families will face a great potential risk of growing unhealthy habits

such

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as smoking cigarettes, and alcoholism

besides

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the high chance of developing at least one psychological disease if wrong decisions are applied by individuals. In conclusion, there are many pros and cons that can be issued and none is unimportant, but I believe, that living on your own, creating new habits and skills to build up your life the way you desire from scratch has a profound impact on your journey and it outweighs any drawbacks.

Ali DavoodiThu Nov 14 2024

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task achievement

While the essay presents clear arguments, it could benefit from more specific examples and occasional elaboration on points. Try to incorporate more real-life instances to substantiate your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure to maintain a clear line of argument throughout and connect personal opinions with broader scenarios for improved cohesion.

task achievement

The essay provides a thoughtful comparison between living at home and living away from home during university, covering both benefits and drawbacks effectively.

coherence cohesion

There's a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay beautifully and provides a smooth reading experience.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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