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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #bowen #island #survey #visitors #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two pie charts below display the most popular positives and negatives of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brown
Use synonyms
island
Capitalize word
Island
show examples
,provided by a survey of visitors.
Overall
Linking Words
,it appears that the high cost of living on the brown
island
Use synonyms
 is the biggest downside to visitors,
whereas
Linking Words
 both the people and the scenery are the most popular
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 them .
According to
Linking Words
 the data ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 living on the
island
Use synonyms
 is not cost-friendly because 50% of visitors reported that it is the biggest disadvantage , followed by entertainment with approximately a quarter of the chart , the
last
Linking Words
 two are weather and food quality with 25%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are the advantages with the biggest advantage being the people of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brown
Use synonyms
island
Capitalize word
Island
show examples
 with almost half,
while
Linking Words
 the scenery comes second with 35%,
Linking Words
finally
Correct word choice
and finally
show examples
 culture and good accommodations which combined take up 23% of the answers.
Submitted by omniah15 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • According to the survey
  • Visitors reported
  • The pie charts show
  • The most common advantages/disadvantages
  • A significant proportion
  • A small percentage
  • In contrast
  • Notably
  • The largest segment
  • Similarly
  • On the other hand
  • A major advantage/disadvantage
  • To highlight
  • Overall effect
  • Impact the experience
  • In summary
  • Illustrates
  • Reflects
  • Highlights
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