In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.

In many countries,
university
students
have the option to either live at
home
or move to another city for their studies.
While
there are some disadvantages to living away from
home
, I believe that the benefits generally outweigh these drawbacks. One significant advantage of living independently during
university
is the development of self-reliance and independence. When
students
live away from
home
, they must manage their finances, cook their meals, and handle various responsibilities on their own.
This
fosters a sense of responsibility and prepares them for the demands of adult life.
For instance
, many
students
who live in dormitories or rented apartments learn valuable skills
such
as budgeting, planning, and time management, which are essential for future careers and personal development.
Moreover
, moving to a new city or even a different country for
university
can expose
students
to diverse cultures and ideas. Living with people from various backgrounds can broaden their
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
and improve interpersonal skills.
For example
, international
students
studying abroad often build friendships with peers from different cultures, gaining insights into new customs and lifestyles.
This
exposure to diversity can make them more adaptable and empathetic, qualities that are highly valued in today’s globalized world.
However
, living away from
home
can have its challenges.
Students
who are not used to being away from family might
experience
feelings of loneliness and homesickness.
Additionally
, living independently can be financially demanding, as
students
need to pay for rent, food, and other living expenses, which may put a strain on their budget. Despite these challenges, I believe the advantages of living away from
home
ultimately outweigh the disadvantages. The independence, personal growth, and exposure to new perspectives that
students
gain from
this
experience
can have lasting positive effects on their personal and professional lives.
While
some may struggle
initially
, most
students
eventually adapt and grow from the
experience
. In conclusion,
although
living away from
home
during
university
comes with certain challenges, the benefits in terms of personal development, cultural exposure, and independence make it a valuable
experience
.
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Coherence and Cohesion
To further enhance the clarity of your essay, consider diversifying your transitional phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly. This will help to guide the reader through your argument with even greater clarity.
Task Response
Include more specific examples and data to provide deeper insights and strengthen your argument. This specificity can make your essay more compelling and grounded in real-world contexts.
Task Achievement
Your essay excellently covers the task by presenting a balanced view of both options available to students, and argues convincingly that living away from home has significant advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, making the argument easy to follow. The paragraphs flow logically from one point to the next.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents comprehensive ideas and considerations surrounding the topic, such as independence, self-reliance, and cultural exposure, which are well articulated and persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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