Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some would argue that
children
should make their own decisions
about everything on a daily basis, while
others believe that this
way might create selfish people in society. This
essay aims to discuss both views and give my opinion.
On the one hand, children
who make their own decisions
about their lives are more likely to be confident than others. When parents
give their children
the freedom to take responsibility and decisions
about everything that boosts their self-esteem. To illustrate this
a kid who just decided everyday matters, it is said that the child has more confidence to choose anything and has responsibility for decisions
. From my perspective, this
method of raising children
has a negative impact on their personality
in the future because children
like to have boundaries and learn them instead
of giving orders or making decisions
.
On the other hand
, some parents
believe that this
way of raising children
is not good either for them or their personality
. Children
who just make decisions
or give their opinions about everything they will grow up with give orders without thinking about others. Having said that this
way also
might lead to creating a narcissistic personality
for children
. For instance
, psychologists have discovered that children
who give their opinion about everything and make decisions
about everything will lead to bad behaviour for children
. From my point of view, children
should know that their parents
are the main once responsible for their decisions
so they can share what they want with their parents
and not only make decisions
without them.
In conclusion, people recently have argued that children
should make their choices about all everyday
matters because they believe that it is good for increasing their Replace the word
every day
children
’s confidence and self-esteem. I believe that this
method of raising children
has a negative effect on their personality
and creates a selfish individual in our community.Submitted by ghazl.1998g on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and discusses both views of the topic. However, consider developing your arguments further by providing more nuanced examples or evidence, particularly for the point about narcissistic tendencies in children.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly clear and well-organized, but occasionally, phrases could be more precise to enhance clarity. Pay attention to transitions between ideas to improve logical flow.
task achievement
You can enhance your essay's specificity by incorporating more concrete and varied examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining your stance and summarizing main arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear partitioning of the arguments.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both viewpoints, demonstrating a balanced understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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