Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions

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Some would argue that

children

Use synonyms

should make their own

decisions

Use synonyms

about everything on a daily basis,

while

Linking Words

others believe that

this

Linking Words

way might create selfish people in society.

This

Linking Words

essay aims to discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand,

children

Use synonyms

who make their own

decisions

Use synonyms

about their lives are more likely to be confident than others. When

parents

Use synonyms

give their

children

Use synonyms

the freedom to take responsibility and

decisions

Use synonyms

about everything that boosts their self-esteem. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

a kid who just decided everyday matters, it is said that the child has more confidence to choose anything and has responsibility for

decisions

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. From my perspective,

this

Linking Words

method of raising

children

Use synonyms

has a negative impact on their

personality

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in the future because

children

Use synonyms

like to have boundaries and learn them

instead

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of giving orders or making

decisions

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

parents

Use synonyms

believe that

this

Linking Words

way of raising

children

Use synonyms

is not good either for them or their

personality

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

who just make

decisions

Use synonyms

or give their opinions about everything they will grow up with give orders without thinking about others. Having said that

this

Linking Words

way

also

Linking Words

might lead to creating a narcissistic

personality

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for

children

Use synonyms

For instance

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, psychologists have discovered that

children

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who give their opinion about everything and make

decisions

Use synonyms

about everything will lead to bad behaviour for

children

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. From my point of view,

children

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should know that their

parents

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are the main once responsible for their

decisions

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so they can share what they want with their

parents

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and not only make

decisions

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without them. In conclusion, people recently have argued that

children

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should make their choices about all

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

matters because they believe that it is good for increasing their

children

Use synonyms

’s confidence and self-esteem. I believe that

this

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method of raising

children

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has a negative effect on their

personality

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and creates a selfish individual in our community.

Submitted by ghazl.1998g on Fri Nov 15 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and discusses both views of the topic. However, consider developing your arguments further by providing more nuanced examples or evidence, particularly for the point about narcissistic tendencies in children.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas are mostly clear and well-organized, but occasionally, phrases could be more precise to enhance clarity. Pay attention to transitions between ideas to improve logical flow.

task achievement

You can enhance your essay's specificity by incorporating more concrete and varied examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining your stance and summarizing main arguments.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, with clear partitioning of the arguments.

task achievement

You effectively discuss both viewpoints, demonstrating a balanced understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomy
Consequence-awareness
Self-centered
Informal decision-making education
Child development
Age-appropriate choices
Cognitive growth
Fostering independence
Parental guidance
Societal norms
Interpersonal consideration
Balance of freedom
Individualism versus collectivism
Experience-based learning

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Ins some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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