Some people believe that children should do what their parents tell them to do; others think children must learn to think for themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is believed that children are better off obeying what they were told to commit,
whereas
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others think the most beneficial for them is to decide for themselves. In my opinion, it is wrong for kids to make decisions on their own since it may be dangerous and unsafe. On the one hand, parents are usually way smarter and more experienced than their children,
therefore
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, they better direct them.
This
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tactic is extremely beneficial for a proper upbringing because it both brings safety and prosperity to children's lives;
moreover
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, fathers and mothers are the first people on Earth who wish the best
to
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for
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their offspring, so their instructions are mostly positive, which will only positively impact on progenies.
On the other hand
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, sometimes
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bad parenting may be observed.
Therefore
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, kids
also
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have to learn to think for themselves in order to avoid negative consequences or inferior habits that can be inherited from black-hearted parents.
Furthermore
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, in
this
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scenario
offsprings
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learn about
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concept of responsibility,
thus
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, they are more prepared for future life.
For example
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, a certain child may disobey his parents and get a job, whilst he was told not to do so because of the school's importance. In
this
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plot, a boy learns how to earn money and
also
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obtain crucial professional skills. In my opinion, minors always have to listen to their elders because their decision-making is often poor and based on emotions. They are not capable of controlling their moods and instant desires,
thus
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, it is tremendously unsafe for them to handle situations and hardships on their own.
For instance
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, minors always want to go out until the night, and if they disobey, they face trouble. In conclusion, even though kids are capable of making decisions personally, it is still utterly hazardous because they are less experienced and clever in comparison with their moms and dads;
therefore
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, they are better off listening to elders.

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task achievement
Consider adding a more detailed overview of both perspectives in the introduction. This will help set up your argument more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for better flow. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion that is maintained throughout the essay, which strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is structured in a logical manner, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obey
  • authority
  • guidance
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • mistakes
  • independent
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • opinion
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