You have just started a course at a college that does not have its own sports facilities. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. .Introduce yourself .Tell me why you are interested in this sports club .ask some questions about the club, e.g. objects, members, costs Begin with: Dear Sir or Madam

#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #questions #e #g #objects #members #costs #sir #madam

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Dear Sir or Madam I have recently joined a course that does not have its own

sports

Use synonyms

facilities. But I really liked

sports

Use synonyms

, especially boxing and

football

Use synonyms

. I would say that I am crazy about

sports

Use synonyms

. I studied in my own school before studying here. There was

also

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

complex. I used to attend the

football

Use synonyms

club there.

Then

Linking Words

I quit

football

Use synonyms

and joined the boxing club. I had a lot of free

time

Use synonyms

at that

time

Use synonyms

. Now I only have

time

Use synonyms

for one

sport

Use synonyms

. I chose

football

Use synonyms

. Because

football

Use synonyms

is a

team

Use synonyms

game, I like

team

Use synonyms

games very much.

Then

Linking Words

I identified the

sports

Use synonyms

club in front of my course. I am interested in

football

Use synonyms

and boxing. But my

time

Use synonyms

is limited to one

sport

Use synonyms

. And I chose the

sport

Use synonyms

football

Use synonyms

. Because

football

Use synonyms

is a

team

Use synonyms

sport

Use synonyms

. I really like

team

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

. And I know a lot about the

sport

Use synonyms

football

Use synonyms

. And it was my father who got me interested in

this

Linking Words

sport

Use synonyms

. I

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

some questions for you. How many hours do we practice there? What

object

Fix the agreement mistake

objects

show examples

or things do we use there? How much do you have to pay per month? I looking forward to

hear

Wrong verb form

hearing from

show examples

you! Yours faithfully, Arslonov Jasur.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition. You mentioned liking team sports and football multiple times, which made some parts of the letter redundant. Instead, focus on delivering new information and directly addressing the tasks at hand.

coherence cohesion

Enhance your letter with a more structured format: introduce yourself and your reasons for writing in one paragraph, explain why you're interested in the club in another, and ask your questions in a separate paragraph to make it easier to read.

task achievement

Ensure that the questions are clear and specific to avoid any confusion. For example, instead of asking 'What object or things do we use there?' you could say 'What equipment do members have access to?'

suitable writing tone

The letter maintained a polite and respectful tone, which is suitable for a formal letter to a manager.

complete response

The letter clearly states your interest in the sports club and lists relevant details about your background and preferences.

greeting and closing

Greetings and closing were appropriately used, which added to the formal tone of the letter.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

10 paragraphs

207 words

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