IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks overweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is essential for workers to take dangers in their personal and professional
lives
Use synonyms
. From my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 essay discusses why the perks outweigh the downsides because of the possibility of raising their earnings,
in addition
Linking Words
, it may increase their experience and
life
Use synonyms
 skills
such
Linking Words
 as communication, creativity and problem-solving.
To begin
Linking Words
 with professional
lives
Use synonyms
, many individuals have a deficiency in money and it is hard for them to pay their bills,
hence
Linking Words
, taking risks can improve their incomes and solve their obstacles.
In contrast
Linking Words
, lots of arguments say that taking risks can lead to bankruptcy and more suffering to them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if they made a risk plan and studied the consequences well, they would not be bankrupt.
For instance
Linking Words
, if someone's work is too hard and he is low-paid, if he tries to establish a business, he will have a high potential to get wealthy. Starting with personal
lives
Use synonyms
, doing dangers in personal
lives
Use synonyms
 can develop people's experiences which gives them plenty of knowledge.
Additionally
Linking Words
, taking risks in
life
Use synonyms
 like travelling to many nations and studying more to get a PhD leads to a top position in society and an astronomical position in professional
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a study conducted a decade ago, talked about the public who took a PhD and raised their information on
life
Use synonyms
, presently, they have companies and everybody admires them.
To sum up
Linking Words
, making dangers can result a drawbacks,
however
Linking Words
, having an experience in
life
Use synonyms
 and high certifications are formidably better than being stuck in the same place forever.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve sentence structure and vocabulary variety. While your essay is clear, using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures can enhance clarity and interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all points are connected smoothly. Use linking words and transitions to clarify relationships between ideas, which will improve the overall flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: