IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

#cities #areas #buildings #houses #area #land
In a number of cities, the location of
houses
 is
spread
 out in a large area, but others are built on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smaller land and consist of skyscrapers.
Although
 some prefer living in a concrete jungle surrounded by hundreds of tall
houses
, I believe that housing located on a wider land has more space for greenery which ensures a healthier lifestyle. On the one hand, skyscrapers provide living spaces and offices for a significant amount of people who offer their resources for the area. Since the sky does not have a limit, architects are making
houses
 with numerous stories. Because of that, more families are able to move there;
therefore
, bringing in more money and working staff for the
city
.
For example
, New York is known for having big buildings that create an appealing look for the
city
. It is one of the richest and most populated states in the U.S. with an increasing number of people moving there every year.
On the other hand
, places with smaller infrastructure have a lot more green areas. The
houses
 are
spread
 out, leaving free areas between them which often are filled with trees, bushes and flowers. Because the plants turn carbon dioxide into oxygen, the air quality is really good. To illustrate, the capital
city
 of Latvia, Riga has only a few tall buildings
while
 most are small and evenly
spread
 out across the whole
city
. As of result, there are a lot of parks and trees. Riga is known for being one of the greenest cities and has outstanding air quality. In conclusion, cities packed with tall
houses
 earn more financial resources because they can provide a huge number of living spaces,
whereas
 areas with a wider
spread
 of buildings benefit from a clean environment with no air pollution.
Submitted by evijavidemane on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
While the ideas are clearly presented, minor grammatical improvements can be made to enhance the fluency of the essay. For example, in the first paragraph, 'hundreds of tall houses' can be revised to 'hundreds of tall buildings.'
content
To further strengthen the essay, consider expanding the conclusion to include a brief summary of the key points discussed in the body paragraphs.
content
You have provided a complete response to the task, comparing both types of housing effectively and presenting a clear preference with reasons.
structure
Logical structure and flow of ideas make it easy to follow. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing readability.
examples
Specific examples, such as New York and Riga, are well-chosen and effectively illustrate the points being made.
structure
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and the conclusion summarizes the main points well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!