Some feel that tourism endangers culture while others think it is beneficial. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

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Nowadays,
people
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all over the world are more or less familiar with the
tourism
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industry and
also
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have different attitudes towards it. Some
people
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argue that
culture
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may be damaged by
tourism
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while
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others believe that it can have more advantages. I will discuss these views before presenting my own. On the one hand, some
people
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justifiably believe that
tourism
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has positive effects on
culture
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due to
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enriching it. When tourists visit or have a conversation with local
people
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they have
this
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opportunity to exchange their traditions, their history, and
also
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learn from each other.
As a result
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of
this
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connection,
people
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can pick up a good knowledge of tourist
culture
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and use it to improve their
culture
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.
Furthermore
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, local
people
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who are tourist hosts
also
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have
this
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opportunity to learn the tourists’ language and develop their overseas trade because language literacy is essential in the trade market.
On the other hand
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, other groups of
people
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claim that the
culture
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may absorb the adverse effects of
tourism
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. Unfortunately, there are some visitors that undercover of
tourism
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try to harm the local
people
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or operate terrorist attacks.
This
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heinous activity is a global concern today and
people
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are afraid and they try to avoid visiting tourists. These
people
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also
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may insist that travel should be banned by the governments.
However
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, I do not find
this
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argument convincing as state measures can enhance
this
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field and prevent
such
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activities by adding search gates in their boundaries and airports. In conclusion, in my view, the former opinion outweighs the latter one because
tourism
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can enhance the
culture
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by developing good new things
as well as
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new language learning.
Also
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, governments can advance their capability to create safe feelings among their
people
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.
Submitted by mohsenakhlaghiplc on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task well, but could improve by providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is developed equally, with coherent progression from one idea to the next.
task achievement
You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument with a clear standpoint in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural erosion
  • cultural homogenization
  • cultural heritage
  • mutual understanding
  • cultural diversity
  • preservation
  • economic incentive
  • revival
  • authenticity
  • over-commercialized
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