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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not be allowed to be out fo doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #fo #doors #time #night #adult
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There is no denying the fact that establishing rules to protect children is crucial.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that imposing curfews on
teenagers
 is unnecessary, there is
also
 an argument that it is an essential measure to ensure their safety. In my opinion, I consider that leaving
teenagers
 unsupervised at night can lead to severe consequences, and it is our collective responsibility to implement curfews as a reasonable solution.
To begin
 with,
teenagers
 often need more maturity to understand the potential dangers of staying out late.
In other words
, without proper guidance from their
parents
 or guardians, they may expose themselves to risks
such
 as accidents or criminal activities.
In addition
, government-imposed curfews can serve as a protective measure, ensuring
teenagers
 stay safe.
For example
, in Saudi Arabia, laws are in place to penalize
parents
 who neglect their children, emphasizing the importance of supervision. Another point to consider is that neglecting issues related to
teenagers
 can contribute to rising crime rates. It is
also
 possible to say that allowing unrestricted freedom without regulations may result in the development of harmful habits and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Moreover
, it creates opportunities for criminals to exploit vulnerable minors.
For instance
, countries with weak enforcement of child protection laws,
such
 as Nigeria and Ghana, have reported higher rates of crimes involving minors
due to
 the lack of governmental intervention. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe governments and
parents
 must work together to protect children and enforce necessary. By distributing responsibilities among governments,
parents
, and international organizations, we can achieve meaningful results in ensuring the well-being of
teenagers
.
Submitted by aaljanini on

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task achievement
Ensure that the arguments against curfews for teenagers are addressed to provide a balanced view. This will reinforce the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen coherence by using more varied linking words and phrases, which can help the essay flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear outline of the main argument and sets the tone for the essay.
task achievement
Main points are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, particularly the societal impacts of curfews.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the presented ideas and reinforces the essay's stance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curfew
  • Boundaries
  • Safety
  • Independence
  • Responsibility
  • Risk
  • Trust
  • Rebellion
  • Social skills
  • Discipline
  • Parent-teen communication
  • Crime rates
  • Enforcement
  • Freedom
  • Social gatherings
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