IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 have the chance to
further
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 their academic knowledge. They are considered to be the
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 human capital too. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that these group should serve their own country.
While
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 say they could freely work in other countries. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion with examples. It is argued that expertise should not end up working in foreign countries. They are trained to serve their own society.
In other words
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, a great deal of money and time is allocated to them,
for instance
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 at
univercities
Correct your spelling
universities
,
due to
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 help them to become experts.
Consequently
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, there is an expectation that they should benefit their own community in return. If they decide to find a job abroad, it will be a disadvantage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
as well as
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economy
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the economy
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.
On the other hand
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, a growing number
of
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apply
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believe that professionals should decide freely about whether they want to go or, stay. These
people
Use synonyms
 have tried so hard for years to reach
such
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 a status. Clearly, they were looking for better opportunities and life
condittions
Correct your spelling
conditions
. By moving abroad, they might higher
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chance of
make
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making
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 their dreams
become
Verb problem
come
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 true and
elevate
Wrong verb form
elevating
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 their career and
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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.
To sum up
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, it has become common these days that trained
group
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groups
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move
Fix the infinitive
to move
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 abroad for
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 comfortable life. Others feel responsible and stay in their origin.
However
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, I believe these
hard- working
Correct your spelling
hard-working
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should have the choice to work wherever they desire, or even work overseas. We should not set limits for them

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task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mention general ideas about financial and societal investments, real-world examples or statistics can solidify your points.
coherence cohesion
Be aware of some of the language inaccuracies, such as "univercities" instead of "universities" and "condittions" instead of "conditions." While they don't significantly impact understanding, correcting these can enhance the essay's professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion that includes your opinion.
task achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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