Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Being a famous person,
for
example
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example,
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a popular actor or a sports
star
, is problematic
as well as
beneficial.
This
essay believes that fame has more negative effects because it comes with the cost of being a burden to the
star’s
family, and it can threaten the
star’s
mental
health
. The first negative effect fame has on the
star’s
life is the burden it puts on his family.
That is
not only because of the paparazzi that keep chasing them everywhere they go and eventually putting them at physical risk, but
also
because of the pink media which posts news about them that completely breach privacy and are often related to intimate relationships.
For example
, it is very well known how
much
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apply
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detrimental the role of paparazzi and pink media was on Princess Diana’s sons and they report that those publications and breaking news scarred them for a lifetime just because they come from a famous family. The second reason behind the negativity of being a
star
is that it creates an unsafe environment that may endanger the
star’s
mental
health
. Being constantly under the
spotlights
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spotlight
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and lacking the minimum amount of privacy in the person’s life is documented to be detrimental to
this
latter’s mental
health
.
For instance
, the famous movie
star
Marilyn Monroe is known to have committed suicide because she could not cope with a life with no privacy at all, and the same applies to the famous Egyptian
star
Souad Husni and many others. In conclusion, in my opinion, the negative aspects of fame outweigh the positive ones especially because it puts a burden on the
star’s
family and puts their mental
health
in danger.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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task achievement
You addressed the task and presented relevant ideas, but your response needs to be more fully developed to reach a higher band score. Expand on your main points and deepen the analysis of how fame can be problematic.
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While your ideas are clear, strive for greater comprehensiveness. This entails elaborating on your points more thoroughly and showing how they connect to the overall argument you're making about the negative aspects of fame.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
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