Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.

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Putting extra
pressure
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on
children
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to achieve success has become a vital topic of debate.
While
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some
parents
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encourage
children
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in accurate measures to become successful, others put excessive
pressure
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on their
children
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to achieve their goals and ambitions.
Although
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there are various reasons
such
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as failure in personal experience. I strongly believe that
this
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trend can gradually
result
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in harmful consequences
such
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as a depressed feeling, which will be discussed.
Firstly
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, feeling a sense of success and fulfilment among individuals, particularly the younger generation can offer various benefits
such
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as happier
societies
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.
Therefore
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both
parents
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and
societies
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frequently exert countless pressures on
children
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to become successful and mature.
Additionally
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, if
parents
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struggle to achieve their goals in their personal lives, they might put extra
pressure
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on their
children
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rather than encourage them in accurate strategies, to follow their personal ambitions. A prime illustration is a mother who has always dreamed of being a doctor.
As a
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result
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, these
parents
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make an effort to equip
children
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with extra
pressure
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such
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as numerous different educational curriculums for becoming successful in
further
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education.
On the other hand
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,
this
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approach can significantly contribute to harmful effects for both
societies
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and
children
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.
Thus
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, putting extra
pressure
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on
children
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not only can lead to unhappier and unsustainable
societies
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but
also
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can decrease a sense of confidence among
children
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.
As a
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result
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, these
children
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as young adults are likely to be challenged with various emotional problems
such
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as stress and depression in the future.
For instance
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, consider a student who is overwhelmed with his extracurricular program and does not have enough free time to play like other peers, So
This
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child might encounter various emotional challenges
such
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as feeling abundance and isolated. In conclusion,
Although
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a significant number of
parents
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are interested in putting extra
pressure
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on their
children
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,
due to
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various reasons including their personal failure experiences,
this
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trend can
result
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in negative consequences
such
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as an increase in depression and distress among
children
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.
Submitted by mahanz on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you maintain a clear logical flow by distinctly separating the reasons parents pressure children and the effects of this pressure. This can further strengthen your coherence. Consider summarizing key points lightly in the conclusion for added impact.
task achievement
While your response is complete, try to balance between discussing the positive and negative aspects for a more rounded exploration of the topic as some parents may feel the pressure is beneficial for children’s motivation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and concludes by reiterating your stance, which is indicative of a strong structural coherence.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the dream of a mother for her child, which illustrates a real-world application of your theme.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prosperous future
  • highly competitive
  • extracurricular activities
  • social comparison
  • compelled
  • societal judgement
  • instill discipline
  • work ethic
  • responsibility
  • anxiety
  • diminished self-esteem
  • loss of interest
  • alienated
  • strained relationships
  • rebel
  • burnout
  • hinder
  • well-being
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