Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.
Putting extra
pressure
on children
to achieve success has become a vital topic of debate. While
some parents
encourage children
in accurate measures to become successful, others put excessive pressure
on their children
to achieve their goals and ambitions. Although
there are various reasons such
as failure in personal experience. I strongly believe that this
trend can gradually result
in harmful consequences such
as a depressed feeling, which will be discussed.
Firstly
, feeling a sense of success and fulfilment among individuals, particularly the younger generation can offer various benefits such
as happier societies
. Therefore
both parents
and societies
frequently exert countless pressures on children
to become successful and mature. Additionally
, if parents
struggle to achieve their goals in their personal lives, they might put extra pressure
on their children
rather than encourage them in accurate strategies, to follow their personal ambitions. A prime illustration is a mother who has always dreamed of being a doctor. As a
result
, these parents
make an effort to equip children
with extra pressure
such
as numerous different educational curriculums for becoming successful in further
education.
On the other hand
, this
approach can significantly contribute to harmful effects for both societies
and children
. Thus
, putting extra pressure
on children
not only can lead to unhappier and unsustainable societies
but also
can decrease a sense of confidence among children
. As a
result
, these children
as young adults are likely to be challenged with various emotional problems such
as stress and depression in the future. For instance
, consider a student who is overwhelmed with his extracurricular program and does not have enough free time to play like other peers, So This
child might encounter various emotional challenges such
as feeling abundance and isolated.
In conclusion, Although
a significant number of parents
are interested in putting extra pressure
on their children
, due to
various reasons including their personal failure experiences, this
trend can result
in negative consequences such
as an increase in depression and distress among children
.Submitted by mahanz on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure you maintain a clear logical flow by distinctly separating the reasons parents pressure children and the effects of this pressure. This can further strengthen your coherence. Consider summarizing key points lightly in the conclusion for added impact.
task achievement
While your response is complete, try to balance between discussing the positive and negative aspects for a more rounded exploration of the topic as some parents may feel the pressure is beneficial for children’s motivation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and concludes by reiterating your stance, which is indicative of a strong structural coherence.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the dream of a mother for her child, which illustrates a real-world application of your theme.