The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Employees should get more holidays during the week , and working days must be made shorter.I concur with that statement as I believe that individuals will become more and more productive
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
if they succeed in taking
work
Use synonyms
as fun rather than seeing it as a burden. Though it is necessary to
work
Use synonyms
hard to conquer everything,enjoyment
people
Use synonyms
need to motivate themselves can not be neglected.Since many employees live far from home during the working process,a part of their heart always wants to meet their families , and if they are not able to visit them,they can not give their 100 per cent at the workplace.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a father visits his children during the weekend,
then
Linking Words
that could make him
work
Use synonyms
with more determination during the weekdays.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, our brain is always searching for a reward to produce dopamine,a happy hormone.
People
Use synonyms
will feel more encouraged,they will be more creative and productive if they get to
work
Use synonyms
for fewer days than they used to.It will be rewarding for them , which will
further
Linking Words
create a happy working environment in the office.
People
Use synonyms
can go for travel , which can give them a learning experience and a chance to explore more than they could just achieve within the four walls of the office.
For example
Linking Words
, travelling to other countries can make
people
Use synonyms
wiser and
also
Linking Words
help to broaden their perspective. In conclusion, it is crucial for every human being to get proper holidays to be able to unwind.Our minds cannot
work
Use synonyms
continuously all the time.
Although
Linking Words
we may feel we are working,we are not able to give our best and perform better.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think it is obligatory to make weekends longer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to better organize your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main point. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task response
Make sure you clearly answer the question in the introduction. Rephrase the statement accurately, so it's easy to see your position on the topic.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task response
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is good.
task response
You present relevant arguments about the importance of holidays and motivation, which are well thought out.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: