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Writing Samples
Band 6

If people could choose between a life without working or a life spending too much time working, people would choose a life without work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #life #time #work
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There is a question of whether
people
Use synonyms
 choose a life without working or a hard-working lifestyle,
as a result
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, many
people
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 lean toward the former choice.
However
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, I strongly disagree with the tendency, which many
people
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 retire from their jobs.
To begin
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 with, the result of living without working may badly affect society and the job market. In the words, if many
people
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 decide to retire from their jobs, the rate of economic development may reduce, and the levels of crime and poverty increase dramatically.
For instance
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, the firm's productivity may decline dramatically
due to
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 insufficient human resources.
Furthermore
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, the lack of staff for long periods results in the company bankrupt,
this
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 problem is concerned to be the key factor in damaging the country's economic growth.
Moreover
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,
people
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 can not feed their families well with the conservative thought that working is not necessary. These days, the living costs and education are rising dramatically, which means that
people
Use synonyms
 have to work hard to have financial resources to maintain their fundamental needs.
For instance
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, the scarcity of food and houses
due to
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 the growth of population in recent years resulted in the price change significantly.
Additionally
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, modern education has varied a lot compared to the past. Many schools and universities have to install more digital devices and upgrade their facilities, in order to encourage students to study more effectively. These changes are not budget-friendly costs,
therefore
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 schools have to raise the tuition fees to ensure that they maintain these varies. In conclusion,
while
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 many
people
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 think life without working is an optimal choice,
however
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,
this
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 trend may lead to several adverse impacts on society as a whole.
While
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 I argue that spending time
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work is necessary, I
also
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 think that
people
Use synonyms
 should balance between work and rest.
Submitted by nguyenhung1705mmt on

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task achievement
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coherence and cohesion
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coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your response effectively.
task achievement
You've highlighted some important issues related to choosing a life without work and its potential impacts on society.
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