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Band 7

people believe that kids are getting fewer responsibilities than in the past. Others show the opposite because it is a positive development. do you agree or disagree?

#people #kids #responsibilities #show #development
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In many countries, a fraction of people believe that kids are getting fewer responsibilities than in the past. Others show the opposite because it is a positive development. In my opinion, the new world is easier than in the
last
Linking Words
 three decades. So, a lot of daily tasks became digital. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss the points of view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some parents noticed that their children cannot clean their bedrooms without assistance.
Also
Linking Words
, it's become more difficult to send them to market or anywhere close to the home.
In addition
Linking Words
, technology development is the primary reason for
this
Linking Words
 problem. It
makes
Verb problem
puts
show examples
 teenagers and kids in front of screens for 9 hours a day.
For example
Linking Words
, a Japanese statistics authority started an experiment on 30 kids. They divided into three teammates and challenged them to survive in the forest for two days.
As a result
Linking Words
, they all failed after only 10 hours. They said they had no experience in doing
this
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 type of challenge. On the other flip side of the coin, many families argue that. They said it's dangerous to keep them dependent on themselves.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some children are learning how to be careful with the outside world on smartphones. So, that will be a positive if the government and families take advantage of
this
Linking Words
 point to teach teenagers and adults some recommended skills in society. In conclusion, development is the most effective factor in
this
Linking Words
 trouble. I believe that
such
Linking Words
 responsibility should be an important subject in the home and schools to keep away from any lack of
this
Linking Words
 feature
Submitted by kalmah.sa20 on

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are better connected through the use of linking words and phrases. This will help your essay flow more smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Try to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey ideas more clearly and comprehensively.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to support each main point. This will make your argument more convincing and your response more relevant.
introduction and conclusion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
supported main points
There is a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, aiming for a balanced perspective.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear and focused, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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