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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

#demand #oil #gas #areas #world #access #resources
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In today’s world, the demand for non-renewable
energy
 has sparked significant debate.
While
 some people believe that there should be
further
 research into isolated locations to discover if we can find more oil or fuel. I strongly disagree with
this
 notion and deem that it will create complications because it will lead to global warming and recklessness.
To begin
 with, I believe that we have enough
energy
 needed for survival, with some amount of carefulness and comprehensive understanding we can find a way to manage
this
 predicament, not only for us but
also
 for the next generation.
Furthermore
,
this
 type of research will lead to detrimental effects
such
 as global warming.
Consequently
, based on previous observations,
this
 project will demand equipment/tools
such
 as nuclear
energy
, to demolish old buildings, and to establish underground search.
As a result
, creating a harmful environment
,
Remove the comma
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 lowers the ozone layer and climate crisis.
Moreover
, from my perspective, it will
also
 promote reckless attitudes among individuals, as they will adopt wrongful thinking in their cognitive mindset. To illustrate, many south-Asian countries started
this
 study, during the ongoing study locals utilized 13% more petrol for their pleasure, thinking that the researchers were working to find alternatives, and they would soon have a positive outcome.
On the contrary
, I believe
instead
 of wasting time and effort, authorities should consider the use of renewable
energy
such
 as solar panels and electronic vehicles. To recapitulate,
although
 some may think that
due to
 lack of resources, they should start studying, to find more
energy
.
However
, rather than getting benefits from
this
 suggestion, people would have to face pernicious effects because it will lead to climate change and carelessness.
Therefore
, scientists should explore their critical thinking skills and find other ways,
such
 as solar-powered automobiles.
Nonetheless
, the community should support
this
 approach by being attentive and mindful of utilisation.
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coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
Ensure all points are equally supported to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Clear stance is presented in the introduction.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support ideas.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion providing a strong framework.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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