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Writing Samples /
Band 4

It is important to preserve the beautiful buildings of the past, even if it will be expensive to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#buildings
The historical
buildings
 are parts of the past, of
people
 and places.
This
 reason
It's
Replace the word
Its
show examples
preservations
Fix the agreement mistake
preservation
show examples
 is so important, even if it will be
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
show examples
 to do. In
this
 essay, I will be talking about the beautiful
buildings
, and why I strongly agree with
It's
Replace the word
Its
show examples
conservations
Fix the agreement mistake
conservation
show examples
. Some
people
 argue that the money invested to maintain the beautiful
buildings
 could be better invested in programs,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 and education with the poorest
people
 around the world. It's undoubted the
governament
Correct your spelling
government
 should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
allocate funds to
importants
Correct your spelling
important
 problems
such
 as those mentioned above and
besides
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the places should be modernized
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new
buildings
 to emerge. Other
people
 argue that the money invested in iconic
buildings
 It's important to
heritage
Add an article
the heritage
show examples
 of the nation and the culture is the
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
 of the place. I strongly agree that the
governament
Correct your spelling
government
 should invest the money in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beautiful
buildings
,
moreover
, the cultural heritage
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to bring
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to the places,
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 to
this
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
turism
Correct your spelling
tourism
employer
Replace the word
employs
show examples
people
 and generates new business
oportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. The loss of the culture
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the loss of
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
. We need to know where we are coming from to know where we are going
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,in life.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
preservation can help the sciences and research and answer lots of questions. 
To conclude
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
 the history of humanity
It's
Verb problem
Is
show examples
 so important for all
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
, and the
historic
Correct word choice
historical
show examples
 monuments
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human lives
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 sense and cannot be
forgoten
Correct your spelling
forgotten
.
Submitted by amandaoliveirastylist on

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task achievement
Expand on examples with more specific details to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction sets up the essay topic clearly, and maintain consistent terminology.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully outlining the topic and summing up your views.
task achievement
The task is directly addressed with valid arguments supporting your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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