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In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem?

#countries #people #art #galleries
Nowadays, there is a huge decline in the attendance rate of visiting art galleries.
This
 problem is mainly caused by the appearance of the e-Museums and we can solve it by instilling people a sense of civic pride about national art objects.
This
 essay answers both provided questions
,
Remove the comma
apply
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while
 depicting the main features of each. One of the main reasons for the huge loss in the popularity of galleries is the advancements in technology and people's trivial laziness. Machines have evolved that much so they can replace real objects, which makes visiting unnecessary for witnessing masterpieces.
For example
, a famous painting called Mona Lisa by Leonardo Da Vinci is hanging at the Louvre Museum in Paris, which has its electronic version and is not really attended by tourists anymore because of that.
Therefore
, we need a solution to prevent
this
 new novelty, since it can lead to potential setbacks, and one of these very techniques is the implementation and instillation of new feelings in human beings. As a matter of fact, recent research showed that individuals who were taught it at school showed a much better level of mental clarity than the ones who were not. In conclusion,
although
 in some countries the number of people visiting galleries is steadily diminishing, there are
as well
Rephrase
also
show examples
 precautions for it and solutions, and
this
 essay clearly depicts these.
Submitted by shermadovs on

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task achievement
Provide more varied and specific examples to support your points. While the Mona Lisa example is good, additional examples would help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, you may want to expand on how technology specifically contributes to people choosing digital versions over physical visits, and how instilling civic pride can be implemented.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Consider using more linking words to guide readers through your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the topic and provide a clear summary of your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly identify a specific cause (advancements in technology) and a suggested solution (instilling civic pride), which shows your ability to address both parts of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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