IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #tax
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Controversially, many people believe that they rather keep all the money they earn
with
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apply
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themselves than pay
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 to
state
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the state
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 as they view it as a pointless budget that will
be return
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be returned
show examples
 back for them.
Hence
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, I strongly disagree with the statement as
taxes
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 are crucially vital for them in terms of
services
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 and benefits as
a
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apply
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payback will be elaborated on in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, it seems sensible for some to believe that it is their right to save up all
the
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their
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 earnings with
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
This
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 is
possibly
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possible
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because
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because of
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 the dissatisfaction
of
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with
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the
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a
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 large amount of
taxese
Correct your spelling
taxes
 and level of benefits in return.
Additionally
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, many people are unaware of how important
tax
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 is and generally have
negative
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a negative
show examples
 attitude toward it. Some
viewed
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view
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 that it is their right to decide whether to spare it for others or keep it all for themselves as
these money
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this money
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are
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is
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 the
rewards
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reward
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of
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for
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 their hard work.
However
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, I personally argue in favour of supporting
taxes
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 seeing that it is unarguable that every public
facilities
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facility
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 we are currently
share
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sharing
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 across the society. Take medical care
services
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,
for example
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; the
services
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 related to health care in Australia are free as it is the
results
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result
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 of
taxes
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. It is widely known that
such
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 priorities were costly. In
this
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 sense,
this
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 could
implied
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imply
be implied
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 that paying
taxes
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 could considered
as
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apply
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a
long term
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long-term
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 investment for
ourself
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ourselves
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 in the future. In summary,
although
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 it is undeniable that paying
tax
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often
Add a missing verb
is often
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 viewed as for the purpose of the states, I am of the opinion that
these
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the
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 small money we transfer as a
tax
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 can give us numerous
benefit
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benefits
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 in several aspects
such
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 as medical
services
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 for free.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. While you have presented an argument against the statement, consider addressing the other viewpoint in more detail.
task achievement
Clarify your main points further. Although you have discussed public services like medical care, you could expand on other areas like education, infrastructure, and social security.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer essay structure. Make sure each paragraph presents a distinct point and follows logically from the previous one.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' 'On the other hand').
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position against the belief that taxes are pointless.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to structure your response.
task achievement
You have provided an example (health care in Australia) to support your point about the benefits of taxes.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
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