People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Controversially, many people believe that they rather keep all the money they earn
with
themselves than pay Change preposition
apply
tax
to Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
state
as they view it as a pointless budget that will Correct article usage
the state
be return
back for them. Change the verb form
be returned
Hence
, I strongly disagree with the statement as taxes
are crucially vital for them in terms of services
and benefits as a
payback will be elaborated on in Remove the article
apply
this
essay.
To begin
with, it seems sensible for some to believe that it is their right to save up all the
earnings with Change the word
their
themselve
. Correct your spelling
themselves
This
is possibly
Replace the adverb
possible
because
the dissatisfaction Add the preposition
because of
of
Change preposition
with
the
large amount of Change the article
a
taxese
and level of benefits in return. Correct your spelling
taxes
Additionally
, many people are unaware of how important tax
is and generally have negative
attitude toward it. Some Add an article
a negative
viewed
that it is their right to decide whether to spare it for others or keep it all for themselves as Replace the word
view
these money
Change the determiner
this money
are
the Correct subject-verb agreement
is
rewards
Fix the agreement mistake
reward
of
their hard work.
Change preposition
for
However
, I personally argue in favour of supporting taxes
seeing that it is unarguable that every public facilities
we are currently Change to a singular noun
facility
share
across the society. Take medical care Wrong verb form
sharing
services
, for example
; the services
related to health care in Australia are free as it is the results
of Fix the agreement mistake
result
taxes
. It is widely known that such
priorities were costly. In this
sense, this
could implied
that paying Change the verb form
imply
be implied
taxes
could considered as
a Change preposition
apply
long term
investment for Add a hyphen
long-term
ourself
in the future.
In summary, Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
although
it is undeniable that paying tax
often
viewed as for the purpose of the states, I am of the opinion that Add a missing verb
is often
these
small money we transfer as a Correct determiner usage
the
tax
can give us numerous benefit
in several aspects Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
such
as medical services
for free.Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. While you have presented an argument against the statement, consider addressing the other viewpoint in more detail.
task achievement
Clarify your main points further. Although you have discussed public services like medical care, you could expand on other areas like education, infrastructure, and social security.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer essay structure. Make sure each paragraph presents a distinct point and follows logically from the previous one.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' 'On the other hand').
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position against the belief that taxes are pointless.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to structure your response.
task achievement
You have provided an example (health care in Australia) to support your point about the benefits of taxes.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!