Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that social relationships are being affected in a negative way by modern communication methods.
This
writer totally agrees with this
statement and will explain why in the following essay.
It must be understood that using intelligent devices t contact to other people may lead to laziness. In other words
, citizens just stay in certain directions and chat with their friends or family members, they will not want to go out to meet their relatives. Consequently
, this
can element some health problems such
as obesity or osteoarticular diseases. For example
, people who stay at home will be lazy and this
may affect their education and careers in the future. Thus
chatting online should not be encouraged due to
its drawbacks.
However
, some individuals argue that online communication is more convenient than meeting in real life as they can send information more easily. This
may be true, but chatting online can cause scams. This
is because cybercriminals are more popular now, accounts may be hacked and motivate a lot of problems such
as losing personal information, money and maybe one’s career. As a result
, the community can have psychological problems. From prior knowledge, every year, a large amount of Facebook user loses their accounts because of some links or websites that the criminals set up.
In conclusion, the method of using modern devices to contact may cause complications like laziness and unemployment. Therefore
, people should not rely too much on communication online despite the fact that it is convenient.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure examples are specific and directly related to the point being made. Clear and comprehensive ideas would include discussing both sides more thoroughly before reinforcing your standpoint.
coherence cohesion
Connecting phrases can be used more effectively to ensure the essay flows better. Linking words like 'therefore', 'furthermore', and 'consequently' can help. Revisiting and revising the logical progression of arguments can elevate cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and stays on topic throughout, showing a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, and arguments are generally organized.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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