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Band 6

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centres #government #community #spirit #measures
Public concern has arisen about whether local amenities and new infrastructures
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. I fully agree with
this
 idea. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that community hubs are the places where a lot of different people with unique mindsets come to one spot and share their thoughts with each other. Having that in mind, communities would be able to make new connections,
find
Correct word choice
and find
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 new
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
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 friends that share the same interests. Another great point is that new
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
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 could boost moods. Finding new hobbies and doing interesting activities are essential to one’s happiness,
that is
 why it is important to have new places like leisure centres. Some others may claim that there are other ways of fostering a good spirit and
that is
 true. Even though local amenities are a phenomenal idea, organising community gatherings could
also
 be a solution to a better spirit. Every once in a
while
 people from the same neighbourhood should gather in a place and spend some time with everyone. When placed in the same place they will be forced to start conversations and make new connections.
In
addition
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addition,
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 it would
also
 save some money for other investments for the government. Having considered both views, I think that it is essential for the government to think about investing in local amenities to encourage people to go out, make new friends and boost the moods of many, even though it may cost some money to build them.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task achievement
To further enhance your task achievement, consider providing more specific examples or case studies. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured and cohesive, you could refine your transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow. This will further enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, providing a clear understanding of your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You've presented clear and comprehensive ideas, addressing both the importance of local amenities and alternative solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • ammunities
  • leisure centre
  • sense of togetherness
  • boost the local economy
  • inclusive events
  • diverse range
  • instil a sense of pride
  • shared identity
  • accessibility and connectivity
  • public green spaces
  • community bonding
  • frequent community service projects
  • community-based educational programs
  • promotes physical health
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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