IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles price. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #fuel #vehicles #price
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It is argued that the prices of fossil
fuels
 and
cars
 should be increased to address environmental issues. I do agree with that statement, which will be described below. It is my view that
people
 are more likely to
use
 private vehicles for transportation which contributes to pollution in urban areas. So increasing fuel prices may encourage commuters to
use
 public transport
such
 as metro trains and buses to save money.
For instance
, in Turkey, the high price of
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel
show examples
 leads individuals to
use
 public transportation.
Moreover
,
this
 strategy can have a significant impact not only on drivers but
also
 on companies that produce carbon emissions, and they may be encouraged to
use
 renewable
energy
 sources
such
 as wind or solar power
instead
 of fossil
fuels
, which are more environmentally friendly.
In contrast
, some
people
 claim that enhancing the price of fuel is an ineffective strategy since some
people
 may
use
 private
cars
 despite the higher costs. They firmly insist that governments should raise public awareness about the consequences of emitting carbon dioxide in the environment to motivate
people
 to
use
 renewable
energy
 sources or public transportation. I do not find
this
 argument convincing as individuals often prefer the comfort of private
cars
, even when they are aware of the negative impact on the environment. In conclusion, I completely agree with raising the cost of fuel and
cars
 because when
people
 face financial difficulties, they will choose other ways to commute,
such
 as buses, trains, and bicycles.
Although
 they will be encouraged to choose renewable
energy
 like solar
energy
 rather than
fuels
.
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task achievement
Consider developing the counterargument paragraph by acknowledging potential exceptions or offering a rebuttal to strengthen your position.
task achievement
Try to ensure your examples are more varied or include statistical data for stronger evidence.
coherence cohesion
Refine the use of transition words to ensure clearer connections between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and thoroughly explores the implications of raising fuel prices.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay by presenting the topic and summarizing the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow through a structured argument with supporting points provided for each main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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