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Band 6

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?

#food #countries #feel #trend
People have a tendency to eat fast
food
 in almost every
country
,
this
 trend is rising significantly. Many individuals claim that it has a positive impact,
while
 others disagree with
this
 view. In my opinion, the intaking fast
food
 has a profound impact on humanity. On the one hand, the considerable distribution of convenience
food
 has a positive effect on the
country
.
This
 means that more and more individuals tend to purchase these types of nutrition as they are affordable and time-saving.
For instance
, an ordinary worker does not have any time to cook a meal.
Thus
, they prefer to buy these, since they do not devote their time in order to prepare the
food
.
Furthermore
,
this
 trend leads to the growth of fast-
food
 restaurants. As long as the number of these facilities has been increasing, they would have contributed to economic growth.
Hence
, the budget of the
country
 will rise
due to
 the increase in junk
food
 amenities.
On the other hand
,
while
 the fast
food
 business plays a considerable role in
finances
Correct article usage
the finances
show examples
 of the community, I think that it influences devastatingly on humankind. From my point of view, it declines the public health. As an example, people ,who are prone to consume convenient
food
, suffer from either cardiovascular disease or obesity.
Further
 justification is that
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 impacts detrimentally on the culture of the
country
.
In other words
, the global spread of fast
food
 might lead to the loss of traditional cuisine;
as a result
, society would forget the cultural eating habits that were passed down
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 past generations. In conclusion, the junk
food
 industry contributes to the economy and it has some supreme advantages regarding convenience and accessibility.
However
, I believe that it is taking its toll on
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
,
such
 as eradication of health concerns and the loosing of traditional inheritance.
Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on

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task achievement
For a higher task response score, provide more detailed and varied examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main thesis, with logically structured arguments and a cohesive flow throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and offers a clear stance, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
logical structure
Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, maintaining focus throughout the essay which aids in maintaining coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Processed foods
  • Nutritional value
  • Chronic diseases
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Economic impact
  • Job creation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainability
  • Dietary habits
  • Consumerism
  • Mass production
  • Public health
  • Health-conscious
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