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Many modern children spend great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is exteremly harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

#children #time #front #television #computer #screen #development #parents #limit #disgree
The amount of time children spend watching TV or playing computer games is steadily increasing, and
this
 novelty is considered inevitable. It is widely believed that these activities might result in potential setbacks and kid's degradation,
therefore
, there is no doubt that it is essential for parents to create a timetable
according to
 which their offspring can spend leisure time in
this
 way.
This
 essay checks the validity of both points of view and presents my own opinion on
this
 problem. One of the main reasons why every person finds
this
 statement relatable is the excessive use of electronic devices by his kids. It is obvious that screens are primarily renowned for triggering various diseases and advancements in technology are the main reasons for creating
such
 screens.
For instance
, recent research demonstrated that the ones who were sitting in front of the television showed a significantly lower level of mental stability and decreased memory capacity than the ones who did not tend to do it.
Moreover
, survey participants who spent time at the computer were suffering from an eye strain and constant feeling of anxiety. In order to stop the spread of
this
 habit, an extremely strict control system is required, since it will be able to prevent or at least diminish the average duration of the watching process. By making
such
 an implementation, kids will be accompanied and taught by their parents throughout the day without the need for a parent's presence. As an example, I can present my very own younger sister, and despite the fact that she already was having trouble with education, a good schedule helped her to deal with
this
 issue. After examining both viewpoints, I think that the fact that the overwhelming majority of children spend a great proportion of the day observing television is a bad habit, and humanity should get rid of that as fast as possible.
Submitted by shermadovs on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly conveys a single main idea, and utilize topic sentences to introduce these ideas effectively.
Task Achievement
Enhance the essay with more concrete examples and evidence to support the argument that screen time is harmful to children.
Task Achievement
Include more extensive discussion of potential opposing viewpoints to provide a more balanced perspective on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
Task Achievement
The arguments presented are clear, and the essay remains focused on the topic throughout.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples, such as the study on mental stability and eye strain, to support key points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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