Many modern children spend great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is exteremly harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

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The amount of time children spend watching TV or playing computer games is steadily increasing, and

this

novelty is considered inevitable. It is widely believed that these activities might result in potential setbacks and kid's degradation,

therefore

, there is no doubt that it is essential for parents to create a timetable

according to

which their offspring can spend leisure time in

this

way.

This

essay checks the validity of both points of view and presents my own opinion on

this

problem. One of the main reasons why every person finds

this

statement relatable is the excessive use of electronic devices by his kids. It is obvious that screens are primarily renowned for triggering various diseases and advancements in technology are the main reasons for creating

such

screens.

For instance

, recent research demonstrated that the ones who were sitting in front of the television showed a significantly lower level of mental stability and decreased memory capacity than the ones who did not tend to do it.

Moreover

, survey participants who spent time at the computer were suffering from an eye strain and constant feeling of anxiety. In order to stop the spread of

this

habit, an extremely strict control system is required, since it will be able to prevent or at least diminish the average duration of the watching process. By making

such

an implementation, kids will be accompanied and taught by their parents throughout the day without the need for a parent's presence. As an example, I can present my very own younger sister, and despite the fact that she already was having trouble with education, a good schedule helped her to deal with

this

issue. After examining both viewpoints, I think that the fact that the overwhelming majority of children spend a great proportion of the day observing television is a bad habit, and humanity should get rid of that as fast as possible.

Submitted by shermadovs on Mon Nov 18 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly conveys a single main idea, and utilize topic sentences to introduce these ideas effectively.

Task Achievement

Enhance the essay with more concrete examples and evidence to support the argument that screen time is harmful to children.

Task Achievement

Include more extensive discussion of potential opposing viewpoints to provide a more balanced perspective on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.

Task Achievement

The arguments presented are clear, and the essay remains focused on the topic throughout.

Task Achievement

Effective use of examples, such as the study on mental stability and eye strain, to support key points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Many modern children spend great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is exteremly harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances. What are the causes of this phonomenon and what are the some of possible solution

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?