In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It is argued that these days, customers can buy processed

food

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by going to

supermarkets

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all over the globe.

This

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essay believes

this

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is a positive

development

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because

this

Linking Words

makes

people

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's lives easier and more convenient.

Firstly

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supermarkets

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are seen as a positive

development

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because they are more convenient compared to traditional

markets

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While

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in traditional

markets

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customers have to negotiate with the sellers,

supermarkets

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have a fixed price so customers don't need to spend more time negotiating.

Furthermore

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supermarkets

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tend to have cleaner, well-managed stores,

therefore

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people

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choose

supermarkets

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over traditional

markets

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For example

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, Indonesians right now prefer to go to

supermarkets

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such

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as HERO or Carrefour, over traditional

markets

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because they are seen as more convenient than traditional

markets

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Secondly

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, processed

food

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could be considered as a positive

development

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because it makes

people

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's lives easier. Many processed foods only require to be cooked in a very short time,

as a result

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people

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can spend less time

for

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apply

show examples

cooking.

Moreover

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, processed

food

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already has added spices inside of it, so consumers don't need to add extra spices which could potentially ruin the flavour.

For instance

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, Indomie, one of the processed noodle brands in Indonesia, is the most bought processed

food

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in Indonesia.

This

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is not only because of its taste

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apply

show examples

but

also

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because

people

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can make it very easily.

To conclude

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this

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essay thinks that the processed

food

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that can be bought by going to

supermarkets

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all over the world is a positive

development

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This

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is because

supermarkets

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offer more convenience compared to traditional

markets

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and processed foods are easier to cook and make cooking for many

people

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easier.

aribawadzakiTue Nov 19 2024

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task response

Try to develop each paragraph more fully. Your points are relevant but could be expanded with more examples or deeper analysis.

coherence cohesion

Use more variety in cohesive devices to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task response

Your introduction and conclusion effectively present the main argument and tie the essay together, which strengthens your task achievement and coherence.

task response

You have used some good examples to support your points, such as the mention of HERO and Carrefour in Indonesia.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nutrition
cultural exposure
competitive markets
economic boost
employment opportunities
carbon footprint
environmental impact
local produce
food security
global supply chain
sustainable practices
consumer choice
market dynamics
price competition
agricultural sector

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In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some I formation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays people are working too hard,what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this.

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries have high unemployment rate, so some people think that children should only go to primary school, not high school because they won't find a job later. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

there are some people who argue that a person’s value will be judged based on social status and material possessions, while others think that it is better if we consider a person according to values such as honor, kindness and trust