In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is argued that these days, customers can buy processed
food
by going to Use synonyms
supermarkets
all over the globe. Use synonyms
This
essay believes Linking Words
this
is a positive Linking Words
development
because Use synonyms
this
makes Linking Words
people
's lives easier and more convenient.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
supermarkets
are seen as a positive Use synonyms
development
because they are more convenient compared to traditional Use synonyms
markets
. Use synonyms
While
in traditional Linking Words
markets
customers have to negotiate with the sellers, Use synonyms
supermarkets
have a fixed price so customers don't need to spend more time negotiating. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
supermarkets
tend to have cleaner, well-managed stores, Use synonyms
therefore
, Linking Words
people
choose Use synonyms
supermarkets
over traditional Use synonyms
markets
. Use synonyms
For example
, Indonesians right now prefer to go to Linking Words
supermarkets
, Use synonyms
such
as HERO or Carrefour, over traditional Linking Words
markets
because they are seen as more convenient than traditional Use synonyms
markets
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, processed Linking Words
food
could be considered as a positive Use synonyms
development
because it makes Use synonyms
people
's lives easier. Many processed foods only require to be cooked in a very short time, Use synonyms
as a result
, Linking Words
people
can spend less time Use synonyms
for
cooking. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, processed Linking Words
food
already has added spices inside of it, so consumers don't need to add extra spices which could potentially ruin the flavour. Use synonyms
For instance
, Indomie, one of the processed noodle brands in Indonesia, is the most bought processed Linking Words
food
in Indonesia. Use synonyms
This
is not only because of its tasteLinking Words
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
because Linking Words
people
can make it very easily.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, Linking Words
this
essay thinks that the processed Linking Words
food
that can be bought by going to Use synonyms
supermarkets
all over the world is a positive Use synonyms
development
. Use synonyms
This
is because Linking Words
supermarkets
offer more convenience compared to traditional Use synonyms
markets
and processed foods are easier to cook and make cooking for many Use synonyms
people
easier.Use synonyms
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task response
Try to develop each paragraph more fully. Your points are relevant but could be expanded with more examples or deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Use more variety in cohesive devices to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Your introduction and conclusion effectively present the main argument and tie the essay together, which strengthens your task achievement and coherence.
task response
You have used some good examples to support your points, such as the mention of HERO and Carrefour in Indonesia.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?