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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people spend most of their lives living close to where they are born. what might be the reasons for this? what are the advantages and disadvantages

#people #lives
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in our societies, many people choose to spend their whole lives where they were born and brought up. It happened
due to
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 various reasons,
such
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 as, wanting to stay connected with their roots, some individuals preferring to continue their family
business
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.
for example
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, if one
person
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's family takes care of their ancestor's farming
business
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 and they want to pass the same
business
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 to the next generation.
Therefore
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, it would be difficult to move from that area. it has many pros to living in one place and the first one is a sense of security and warmth of relationships. Research,
for example
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, shows that a
person
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 who lives with his/her family is more likely to stay away from stress, anxiety and various other diseases.
In addition
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, it is the safest place for a
person
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 who lives around nears and dears.
However
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, every coin has two sides, and the primary disadvantage is a narrow mindset. if a
person
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 does not get a chance to explore other things and cultures, he or she can discriminate among other people and their cultures.
Secondly
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, lack of opportunities, if individuals live around locals, they get stuck to limited things and do not get a chance to upgrade their skills. In conclusion, the decision to live close to the roots is a choice of human beings. The reasons varying
person
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 to
person
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. some want to live to handle their family
business
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 and some want to stay connected with their roots. the balance between both merits and demerits matters.
Submitted by sidhu.avneet07 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance logical flow.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples to make your argument stronger and more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively presents an introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
relevant specific examples
Illustrates clear reasons why people may choose to live near their birthplace, with valid examples such as family business continuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
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