Some people believe that the responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnational organization, rather than by each individual country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that transitional organizations should take
responsibility
for protecting the environment
, while
others
believe that it is the responsibility
of each individual to protect the environment
. I personally agree that it should be the responsibility
of every individual to protect the environment
because the environment
is mostly polluted by individuals
, and if individuals
become aware, they can raise awareness
about protecting the environment
among others
.
It is the responsibility
of each individual to protect the environment
because the environment
is mostly polluted by individuals
. People use
plastic
, polythene and other harmful materials, which pose threat
to the Correct article usage
a threat
environment
. If the public individually becomes aware of this
, the use
of plastic
and other harmful chemicals by individuals
can be controlled, which will help to protect the environment
. For instance
, in Victoria, Australia, each citizen takes the
Correct article usage
apply
responsibility
for their plastic
use
and participates in recycling, which reduces the
water pollution Correct article usage
apply
up
to 56%.
Change preposition
by up
In addition
, if individuals
become aware of protecting the environment
, they can spread that awareness
among others
. If each citizen believes that it is their responsibility
to minimize plastic
use
and find alternative sources of plastic
, they will raise awareness
among their families, friends and colleagues. As a result
, everybody will come forward to protect the environment
, which will effectively address environmental pollution. For instance
, in Japan, children are taught to become aware of environmental pollution individually in their schools,
and find alternative sources of Remove the comma
apply
plastic
and other harmful materials.
In conclusion, I completely agree with the statement that the general public should take responsibility
for protecting the environment
because it will reduce individual use
of plastic
, and raise environmental awareness
among others
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by addressing counterarguments or alternative perspectives, even if briefly. While your stance is clear, engaging with opposing viewpoints can enrich your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Link sentences and paragraphs more fluidly using cohesive devices to enhance overall fluidity. Ensure each idea smoothly transitions into the next to maintain reader engagement.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position on the issue, with a well-defined introduction and strong conclusion, making your stance easy to follow.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as those from Victoria, Australia and Japan, effectively support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is dedicated to a single main idea, which is a strong aspect of paragraphing and structure, aiding in clarity and understanding.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite