Some people believe that the responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnational organization, rather than by each individual country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that transitional organizations should take
responsibility
for protecting the
environment
,
while
others
believe that it is the
responsibility
of each individual to protect the
environment
. I personally agree that it should be the
responsibility
of every individual to protect the
environment
because the
environment
is mostly polluted by
individuals
, and if
individuals
become aware, they can raise
awareness
about protecting the
environment
among
others
. It is the
responsibility
of each individual to protect the
environment
because the
environment
is mostly polluted by
individuals
. People
use
plastic
, polythene and other harmful materials, which pose
threat
Correct article usage
a threat
show examples
to the
environment
. If the public individually becomes aware of
this
, the
use
of
plastic
and other harmful chemicals by
individuals
can be controlled, which will help to protect the
environment
.
For instance
, in Victoria, Australia, each citizen takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
for their
plastic
use
and participates in recycling, which reduces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water pollution
up
Change preposition
by up
show examples
to 56%.
In addition
, if
individuals
become aware of protecting the
environment
, they can spread that
awareness
among
others
. If each citizen believes that it is their
responsibility
to minimize
plastic
use
and find alternative sources of
plastic
, they will raise
awareness
among their families, friends and colleagues.
As a result
, everybody will come forward to protect the
environment
, which will effectively address environmental pollution.
For instance
, in Japan, children are taught to become aware of environmental pollution individually in their schools
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and find alternative sources of
plastic
and other harmful materials. In conclusion, I completely agree with the statement that the general public should take
responsibility
for protecting the
environment
because it will reduce individual
use
of
plastic
, and raise environmental
awareness
among
others
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by addressing counterarguments or alternative perspectives, even if briefly. While your stance is clear, engaging with opposing viewpoints can enrich your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Link sentences and paragraphs more fluidly using cohesive devices to enhance overall fluidity. Ensure each idea smoothly transitions into the next to maintain reader engagement.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position on the issue, with a well-defined introduction and strong conclusion, making your stance easy to follow.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as those from Victoria, Australia and Japan, effectively support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is dedicated to a single main idea, which is a strong aspect of paragraphing and structure, aiding in clarity and understanding.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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