IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Wild animals have no use in the 21st century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#animals #st #century #wastage #money
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In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, wild
animals
Use synonyms
 have no
use
Use synonyms
 and
effort
Correct article usage
the effort
show examples
 to preserve
animals
Use synonyms
 is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
. From my personal
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 I agree to a certain extent with
statement
Add an article
the statement
a statement
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 given,
however
Linking Words
 there are some
issuees
Correct your spelling
issues
 to consider. Both sides will be examined in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are numerous
benefits
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 of spending
money
Use synonyms
 to preserve wild
animals
Use synonyms
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
. The primary and most crucial one is that wild
anmials
Correct your spelling
animal
 protectors have higher incomes to support
preserve
Replace the word
preservation
show examples
 projects.
In other words
Linking Words
, wild
animals
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 have no
use
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 but
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of wild
animals
Use synonyms
 is a significant decline from several
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
, so protectors can
use
Use synonyms
money
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 to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue. Another advantage is that wild
animals
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 are
contibutors
Correct your spelling
contributors
 to
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
show examples
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that we do not have better knowledge about how to preserve forest
animals
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, if we stop
spend
Change the form of the verb
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to enhance information to preserve, it can lead to environmental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. Experts,
for instance
Linking Words
,
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 to support
Add an article
a project
the project
show examples
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
 to save wild
anmials
Correct your spelling
animals
 from fire
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are several
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 aspects, a number of
benefits
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 should
well-considered
Add a missing verb
be well-considered
show examples
 of stop spending
money
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 to preserve. The initial and most obvious one is that people can
use
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 protect
animals
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to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other parts that
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
.
For example
Linking Words
, the government have higher incomes to improve infrastructure for individuals to get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life. Encouraging
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 wild
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
 is the
last
Linking Words
 positive to be taken into account.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, when people stop
waste
Replace the word
wasting
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to preserve people who want to
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use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
preserve wild
animals
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 to make
money
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 cannot have
medhod
Correct your spelling
method
 on the grounds that it can improve
Correct article usage
the ethical
show examples
ethical
Replace the word
ethics
show examples
 of
those person
Change the determiner
that person
those people
show examples
. In conclusion, even though there are numerous
benefits
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 associated stop
Correct article usage
the wastage
show examples
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of
money
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 to preserve, I hold the view that the
benefits
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 of spending
money
Use synonyms
 to preserve wild
animals
Use synonyms
 outweigh them. If individuals spend
money
Use synonyms
 to support, it is almost certain they can reduce a dead number of
wild
Correct word choice
dead
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by t.shetthong on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and logical structure, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words like 'furthermore,' 'on the other hand,' and 'additionally' to guide your reader through your argument.
task achievement
Increase the support for your main points by providing detailed and specific examples where possible. For example, if discussing the economic benefits of protecting wildlife, give a specific instance of a successful preservation project.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully. For instance, when you mention the role of wild animals in controlling the environment, explain this role in detail and provide some examples or case studies.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which contributes to a better overall structure.
task achievement
The essay identifies multiple perspectives and attempts to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on wild animal preservation.
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