IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say libraries are important in society as a place to get information and use books. Others say as computers are advanced, libraries are a waste of money and recourses. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #libraries #society #place #information #books #computers #waste #money #recourses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,
people
Use synonyms
 have various opinions about
libraries
Use synonyms
.
for example
Linking Words
, a group of
people
Use synonyms
 think that these places are really crucial for obtaining information and books;
in contrast
Linking Words
, others believe that these kinds of places are the areas that waste both money and resources owing to the fact that computers are developed. I subscribe to the first idea inasmuch as
libraries
Use synonyms
 have a range of books, magazines, and so on that have been published over several years and are good for developing all aspects of countries. On the one hand, in the past populations did not have access to the computer, so they just printed a few numbers of their books and
libraries
Use synonyms
 just have these elements;
additionally
Linking Words
,
libraries
Use synonyms
 are the main place that has a majority of
data
Use synonyms
 and information from the past to now;
as a result
Linking Words
, when the scientists want to find the best way that helps the society to become better they need to read the prior research and
data
Use synonyms
 that are in
libraries
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, technology has been developing really fast, so all
people
Use synonyms
 have a range of electronic tools
such
Linking Words
 as computers, tablets, phones, and so forth that connect to the Internet and receive a lot of information and
data
Use synonyms
 from all over the world without going to the library and
people
Use synonyms
 can buy the resources that they need with less cost from the Internet;
consequently
Linking Words
, they think that do not need
libraries
Use synonyms
.;
moreover
Linking Words
, the governments do not spend too much money on
libraries
Use synonyms
 like fixing buildings, renewing resources and so on
To sum up
Linking Words
, computers are the best choices they do not need a lot of money and have good access;
however
Linking Words
,
libraries
Use synonyms
 are like important treasures that help researchers to have access to a range of essential
data
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Work on improving logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance overall flow and coherence. For instance, use linking phrases to make the argument progression clear.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the argument. Including examples can make your points more relatable and grounded.
Introduction & Conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the topic and gives a thesis statement indicating your position.
Introduction & Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and reaffirms your stance, providing closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: