In some countries old people are highly valued and in other countries the young are considered to be more valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Or Some cultures value old age while others value young age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the value of old and young
people
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
society
has become a topic of considerable debate. Some
people
argue that old
people
are more beneficial to their
country
,
while
others
thinks
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think
show examples
that young
people
have more potential benefits. In my opinion, I consider that young
people
are greatly important in many ways to the
country
.
Firstly
, young
people
can generate more manpower which is the most crucial feature of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. When the
country
has adequate manpower,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productions
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production
show examples
or export the service power to foreign
country
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countries
show examples
.
This
will
be improved
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improve
show examples
the economy
as well as
reduce the poverty rate.
Addittionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, when a
country
has more younger
generation
, they do not need to spend extra money on health or social
service
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services
show examples
because it is a fact that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation
is more
heltheir
Correct your spelling
healthier
than older
people
. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, the government can allocate its budget for more development projects. So, the
yonger
Correct your spelling
younger
citizens
has
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have
show examples
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
to influence the
society
as well as
the
country
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, elderly citizens have more experience in terms of governing the
country
. Most of the time, their
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
and
guidences
Correct your spelling
guidances
guidance
have
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
impact
of
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on
show examples
its
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apply
show examples
society
because they can analyze the advantages and disadvantages of some decisions before implementing or
legalize
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legalising
show examples
. As an example, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
advisers are
some what
Correct your spelling
somewhat
show examples
old but they have ample experience in
this
subject. So, the importance of
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation
can not be
igroned
Correct your spelling
ignored
. In conclusion,
people
may vary in their opinions, I think that the younger
generation
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
a better chance to
invole
Correct your spelling
involve
in
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
way to develop the
country
.
Submitted by surangaprasad90 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and clarity. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state your main point, and ensure each supporting detail relates back to these topic sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your argument. While you mentioned the impact on the economy and health care costs, giving specific examples or evidence would strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader and gives a sense of completeness to the argument.
logical structure
The essay attempts to balance both perspectives by discussing the benefits of both the younger and older generations.
complete response
The response is mostly relevant to the topic, addressing both views of the younger and older generations’ values in society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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