oung people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

One
of the biggest
peculiarity
Fix the agreement mistake
peculiarities
show examples
of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
century is
urbanisation
Correct article usage
the urbanisation
show examples
process.
This
word describes
movement
Add an article
the movement
show examples
of
people
from rural areas
such
as villages to
cities
and megalopolis. In
this
work
Add a comma
work,
show examples
I will explore and summarise all the advantages and disadvantages of
this
process
One
of the main positives of urbanisation is work opportunities.
In nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
cities
are developing increasingly rapidly and becoming centres of economic growth. So, in
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
city
Add a comma
city,
show examples
young educated and experienced generation may get well-paid, sustainable and stable
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
with high wages. Another advantage is that in urban areas citizens will get
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
level of living standard.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
in Sweden and Switzerland middle quality of life in
cities
is higher than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more than 90 percent of countries in the world.
Average
Add an article
The average
show examples
salary in Los Angeles, USA, has risen up to three hundred dollars per work hour. Government, employers and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
unions provide their workers with guarantees, social benefits and payments to sustain and support
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of
working
Add an article
the working
a working
show examples
process,
both
Correct word choice
and both
show examples
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
and physical health of employees. Another fact is that in Germany the policy of supporting the population has been carried out since the Second World War to the present day.
This
policy
headed
Add a missing verb
is headed
show examples
towards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
socially disadvantaged groups
such
as veterans, disabled, elderly
people
, families without
one
parent
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
Also
in
cities
architecture is much more complex and developed,
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
are wide range of important services available. Turning to the other
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
argument, we should look at
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
of urbanisation. First of all, it is competition. We all have experienced the effect of living in big busy and fussy
cities
. As an
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
I want to research Tokyo,
capital
Add an article
the capital
show examples
city
of Japan and
one
of the most important economic centres in the world.
According to
data provided by Wikipedia. com on
2024
Change the article
the 2024
show examples
year in Tokyo lives approximately fourteen and half million
people
. The density of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
is very high, it is caused by
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
territory covering 2 thousand square kilometres. In
this
city
Add a comma
city,
show examples
you can stuck in
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
traffic jams for about ten hours
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
more. To apply
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
specialisation in university you must take part in
competition
Add an article
the competition
a competition
show examples
with
hundred
Fix the agreement mistake
hundreds
show examples
thousands
Change preposition
of thousands
show examples
of other students on the website of
this
educational institution. Another major disadvantage is environmental issues. Most factories and industrial facilities
located
Add a missing verb
are located
show examples
next to big
cities
. In Astana, Kazakhstan,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
has grown
show examples
up to about two million
people
. It led to overcrowding and increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exhaust gases from private and public transport
such
as buses, trains , motorbikes and cars. ModleX, Stadrum and other companies which produce metal tubes and other building materials
located
Add a missing verb
are located
show examples
very close to Astana, causing
appearance
Add an article
the appearance
show examples
of smog,
climate
Correct word choice
and climate
show examples
disruption which can be described as
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
grey cloud formation covering
top
Add an article
the top
show examples
layer of the
city
’s air space.
This
and other environmental issues have arduous consequences for
people
’s health and cause diseases
such
as cancer, asthma and respiratory illnesses. In my opinion, living in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
young
people
opportunities to develop and get better
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, but they should take care of
health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
show examples
and be competitive in their communities. Living in rural areas is recommended for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
and children who have weak immune
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
and can’t adapt to living in urban conditions
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting points are directly related. This will enhance coherence and cohesion by making the logical flow more apparent.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay with clear linking phrases and conjunctions to guide the reader through your arguments and examples efficiently.
task achievement
Focus on expanding your main ideas with specific, relevant examples that are deeply tied to your arguments rather than merely listing facts.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear thesis and a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of urbanization.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively used to frame the essay and to summarise the main points.
task achievement
Good examples, such as economic growth in cities and detailed statistics, help to support the arguments and task responses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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