oung people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
One
of the biggest peculiarity
of Fix the agreement mistake
peculiarities
21st
century is Correct article usage
the 21st
urbanisation
process. Correct article usage
the urbanisation
This
word describes movement
of Add an article
the movement
people
from rural areas such
as villages to cities
and megalopolis. In this
work
I will explore and summarise all the advantages and disadvantages of Add a comma
work,
this
process
One
of the main positives of urbanisation is work opportunities. In nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
cities
are developing increasingly rapidly and becoming centres of economic growth. So, in Correct article usage
a city
city
young educated and experienced generation may get well-paid, sustainable and stable Add a comma
city,
job
with high wages.
Another advantage is that in urban areas citizens will get Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
higher
level of living standard. Add an article
a higher
For
example
in Sweden and Switzerland middle quality of life in Add a comma
example,
cities
is higher than in the
more than 90 percent of countries in the world. Correct article usage
apply
Average
salary in Los Angeles, USA, has risen up to three hundred dollars per work hour.
Government, employers and Add an article
The average
labor
unions provide their workers with guarantees, social benefits and payments to sustain and support Change the spelling
labour
quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
working
process, Add an article
the working
a working
both
Correct word choice
and both
mental
and physical health of employees. Another fact is that in Germany the policy of supporting the population has been carried out since the Second World War to the present day. Correct article usage
the mental
This
policy headed
towards Add a missing verb
is headed
to
socially disadvantaged groups Change preposition
apply
such
as veterans, disabled, elderly people
, families without one
parent or
etc.
Correct word choice
apply
Also
in cities
architecture is much more complex and developed, there
are wide range of important services available.
Turning to the other Correct word choice
and there
of
argument, we should look at Change preposition
apply
cons
of urbanisation.
First of all, it is competition. We all have experienced the effect of living in big busy and fussy Correct article usage
the cons
cities
. As an example
I want to research Tokyo, Add a comma
example,
capital
Add an article
the capital
city
of Japan and one
of the most important economic centres in the world. According to
data provided by Wikipedia. com on 2024
year in Tokyo lives approximately fourteen and half million Change the article
the 2024
people
. The density of population
is very high, it is caused by Correct article usage
the population
small
territory covering 2 thousand square kilometres. In Correct article usage
a small
this
city
you can stuck in Add a comma
city,
biggest
traffic jams for about ten hours Correct article usage
the biggest
and
more. To apply Correct word choice
or
to
specialisation in university you must take part in Change preposition
for
competition
with Add an article
the competition
a competition
hundred
Fix the agreement mistake
hundreds
thousands
of other students on the website of Change preposition
of thousands
this
educational institution.
Another major disadvantage is environmental issues. Most factories and industrial facilities located
next to big Add a missing verb
are located
cities
. In Astana, Kazakhstan, population
Correct article usage
the population
grown
up to about two million Add the auxiliary verb
grew
has grown
people
. It led to overcrowding and increasing of
exhaust gases from private and public transport Change preposition
apply
such
as buses, trains , motorbikes and cars. ModleX, Stadrum and other companies which produce metal tubes and other building materials located
very close to Astana, causing Add a missing verb
are located
appearance
of smog, Add an article
the appearance
climate
disruption which can be described as Correct word choice
and climate
big
grey cloud formation covering Correct article usage
a big
top
layer of the Add an article
the top
city
’s air space. This
and other environmental issues have arduous consequences for people
’s health and cause diseases such
as cancer, asthma and respiratory illnesses.
In my opinion, living in city
Add an article
the city
give
young Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
people
opportunities to develop and get better job
, but they should take care of Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
health
and be competitive in their communities. Living in rural areas is recommended for Correct pronoun usage
their health
elderly
and children who have weak immune Correct article usage
the elderly
system
and can’t adapt to living in urban conditionsFix the agreement mistake
systems
Submitted by dnm.best on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting points are directly related. This will enhance coherence and cohesion by making the logical flow more apparent.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay with clear linking phrases and conjunctions to guide the reader through your arguments and examples efficiently.
task achievement
Focus on expanding your main ideas with specific, relevant examples that are deeply tied to your arguments rather than merely listing facts.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear thesis and a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of urbanization.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively used to frame the essay and to summarise the main points.
task achievement
Good examples, such as economic growth in cities and detailed statistics, help to support the arguments and task responses.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.