IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#life #work #time #people
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It is often argued that
people
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 have an option not to
work
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 rather than spending much time to
work
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. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
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 statement and will give the reasons to tackle it. It is vital to understand that living without
work
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 will help
people
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 relax and be comfortable with their
lives
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.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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people
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 have a lot of time to enjoy their
lives
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 and promote themselves
such
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 as taking care of their bodies or appearance.
In addition
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,
people
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 take what they want like hanging out with their friends or going shopping which leads to
people
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’s slow life increases because there is so much time to entertain.
As a result
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, the elements of
people
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’s
lives
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 do not go to
work
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.
However
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, the influence of living without
work
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 in undeveloped countries.
This
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 is
due to
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people
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 not wanting to go to
work
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 so
this
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 problem will be a big negative to decline in the development of countries.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 will be unemployed and result in do not have enough money to pay off their
lives
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. If
people
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 hard
work
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, they will have more money to do everything they want.
In other words
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, in the modern era, there are a few
people
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 who do not want to
work
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 and just live thanks to their parents and when one day no one can take after them anymore, they will become a person who does not help society. In conclusion, living without
work
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 is not the best method for
people
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.
Although
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 being jobless will help them cane relax it brings many negative on daily life.

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task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are fully developed and supported with relevant examples. This will strengthen your essay and provide a more comprehensive response to the question.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and reducing grammatical errors for better clarity. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively by dividing them into clear paragraphs. This will help in maintaining a logical flow of information.
task achievement
The essay contains a visible effort to address both sides of the argument. Providing counterarguments adds depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve to frame the essay's main ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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