Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think that is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are disputed opinions regarding celebrities in the sports industry can earn a lot of money as compared to others who are working in crucial professions. Towards, where some are of the viewpoint that they are deserved;

however

Linking Words

, others argue that it is not fair.

Therefore

Linking Words

, before commenting on my opinion, both views are elaborated on in the ensuing paragraphs. Examining the former

view

Use synonyms

, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is that they are playing sports to represent their country in other nations

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

their country's people feel proud when they win trophies in international tournaments.

For instance

Linking Words

, when Niraj

Chopara

Correct your spelling

Chopra

won the gold medal in the OLYMPIC 2020 movement all Indians felt proud.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they provide entertainment to audiences.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is not only lucrative for viewers' physical health but

also

Linking Words

productive for their mental health.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, those who stand by the latter

view

Use synonyms

have their own claims. The most pivotal one is that doctors should be more paid than sportspersons. To support

this

Linking Words

, it can be explained that they put their

life

Use synonyms

in danger situations and give treatments to patients.

Also

Linking Words

, without them, people may have a short

life

Use synonyms

. One good illustration is that during COVID-19, they provide cures to folks without thinking about their

life

Use synonyms

. Another striking reason is that teachers play an important role for the societies

as a result

Linking Words

the administration should give more salaries to

life

Use synonyms

savers. By

this

Linking Words

, I mean that students are getting some valuable knowledge from their teachers,

such

Linking Words

as soft skills, moral values and how to behave in public places .

Hence

Linking Words

, societies have good masses.

To sum up

Linking Words

and offer my position,

according to

Linking Words

the aforementioned point, it is evident that both views have their own importance.

Linking Words

While

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I firmly support the latter

view

Use synonyms

rather than the former

view

Use synonyms

because doctors and professors should be more paid because their duties are more important.

Darshita@8612Tue Nov 19 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and smooth transitions between ideas.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples, where possible, to strengthen your argument.

General

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points, providing a clear framework for your argument.

Task Achievement

You provide relevant examples which make your arguments relatable and grounded.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial remuneration
Lifespan of career
Elite prowess
Endorsement deals
Media contracts
Societal impact
Capitalism
Economical disparities
Cultural significance
Market-driven economy
Public service sectors
Income inequality
Moral considerations
Underlying economics
Professional athletes
Healthcare workers
Educators
Role models
Entertainment industry
Competitive market

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