You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think that is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are disputed opinions regarding celebrities in the sports industry can earn a lot of money as compared to others who are working in crucial professions. Towards, where some are of the viewpoint that they are deserved;
however
, others argue that it is not fair. Therefore
, before commenting on my opinion, both views are elaborated on in the ensuing paragraphs.
Examining the former view
, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is that they are playing sports to represent their country in other nations as well
as
their country's people feel proud when they win trophies in international tournaments. Correct word choice
and
For instance
, when Niraj Chopara
won the gold medal in the OLYMPIC 2020 movement all Indians felt proud. Correct your spelling
Chopra
Furthermore
, they provide entertainment to audiences. Thus
, it is not only lucrative for viewers' physical health but also
productive for their mental health.
On the contrary
, those who stand by the latter view
have their own claims. The most pivotal one is that doctors should be more paid than sportspersons. To support this
, it can be explained that they put their life
in danger situations and give treatments to patients. Also
, without them, people may have a short life
. One good illustration is that during COVID-19, they provide cures to folks without thinking about their life
. Another striking reason is that teachers play an important role for the societies as a result
the administration should give more salaries to life
savers. By this
, I mean that students are getting some valuable knowledge from their teachers, such
as soft skills, moral values and how to behave in public places . Hence
, societies have good masses.
To sum up
and offer my position, according to
the aforementioned point, it is evident that both views have their own importance. While
I firmly support the latter Correct word choice
apply
view
rather than the former view
because doctors and professors should be more paid because their duties are more important.Submitted by pramodv997 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and smooth transitions between ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples, where possible, to strengthen your argument.
General
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points, providing a clear framework for your argument.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples which make your arguments relatable and grounded.