Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#shops #food #drinks #people’s #health

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Sometimes businesses do not care about

people

's health and the only intention they have is to increase profit. Despite some

people

's voting for trade liberty, I firmly believe that harmful

food

and drinks must be forbidden from sale.

Firstly

however

, some individuals claim that poor

people

must make their own choice to buy cheap

food

or spend less money on lower quality. I think in

this

case the Government gives the green light to the bad quality manufacturers.

In other words

, good

food

will be non-competitive.

Thus

, producers of healthy products predictably will quit the market.

That is

why so important to create supporting conditions for high-standard

food

producers and sellers.

For example

, harmful palm oil supplements have been prohibited in Russia in recent days, which created the conditions for sunflower agriculture .

Secondly

, supporters of low-standard products say that restrictions would not work because prohibition will force companies to hide harmful components and

people

will be misled anyway,

consequently

, they will have no ability to choose

food

with useful components. In reality, I am sure that the strict regulation and the fair punishment for disobedience will eliminate rules breaking.

In addition

, the absence of harmful

food

will contribute to extending life expectancy as in Europe where the

food

industry is under precise control. By the way, palm oil is one of the most harmful components which provoke cancer and cancelling

this

product is essential.

To sum up

, shops and the

food

industry have an interest in selling cheap and harmful

food

in terms of profit. Despite

this

, poor

people

must have the possibility to spend less money and regulations must take a lot of Government effort, I think that cancelling

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the low-quality

food

sales will provide better health for citizens and increase their life duration.

Submitted by tarasovnn on Tue Jan 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay adequately responds to the task, though the arguments and extent of agreement could be more clearly articulated.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing ideas more logically by ensuring each paragraph contains one clear main idea and is supported by relevant details.

coherence cohesion

Include a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range which will enhance the coherence of the writing.

task achievement

Incorporate clear, relevant examples to support your points. Consider current events, historical instances, or hypothetical scenarios.

task achievement

Ensure that both sides of the argument are presented, and then explain your position clearly, supporting it with strong justifications.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Regulations
accountability
retailers
public health
consumer choice
diet
banning
health education
awareness campaigns
economic impact
job losses
small businesses
complexity
beneficial
harmful
quantity consumed
individual health conditions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is said that it is a good idea to have three or four generations living under one roof. What’s your opinion? Use your specific reasons and examples to support your idea. You should write about 250 words.
There is a more persuasive argument that the ideal family structure is living with two generations under the same property, while some people assert that more than three generations living together is a good family structure.
4
band
The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.
The diagram illustrates the current construction of a university's sports and proposals for its advancement.
6
band
Parents, particularly mothers, do not go to work to take care of family. Some people say that the government should give some money to those parents. do you agree or disagree with the satement? give reasons to your answers and give example to support your views.
In this modern era, the term gender equity has become more popular around the world. The purpose of this is to place women in as same as men in terms of social status. There is an opinion that mothers should not be allowed to work to earn money for their families. However, others argue that the solution to this situation is subsiding from the government to help their needs. I agree that mothers should not restricted from work in certain conditions and the government can allocate money to subsidize women who are left by their husbands for some reasons that will be outlined in this essay.
4
band
It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?
Taking risks is what we, humans, will inevitably encounter in our lives. Risks refer to the potential consequences that results from an uncertain situation. In a personal setting, risks could look like expressing feelings towards our crush, confronting our parents or reaching out to an old friend. Meanwhile, in a professional setting, risks could look like joining an organization, submitting a company proposal, or communicating with external stakeholders. By taking a risk, the outcome can either be a positive or a negative one. A positive outcome often relates to a success while a negative outcome is equated to failure.
<4
band
Some people argue that spending a lot of money holdingn birthday parties,wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individual and for society. Discuss both views give your opinion.
In parties, such as birthday,wedding and supplementary celebration spending vast amount of money is a waste in the point of view of one group of people. Whereas, other believe it is important for socity as well as individual.

Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is said that it is a good idea to have three or four generations living under one roof. What’s your opinion? Use your specific reasons and examples to support your idea. You should write about 250 words.

The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

Parents, particularly mothers, do not go to work to take care of family. Some people say that the government should give some money to those parents. do you agree or disagree with the satement? give reasons to your answers and give example to support your views.

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?

Some people argue that spending a lot of money holdingn birthday parties,wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individual and for society. Discuss both views give your opinion.