Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same job. What problemes does this came? What are some possible solutions?
It is true that
people
in the job
market need to compete with everyone, not just people
only in their age groups. I think we should see this
problem from two different perspectives, the eldery
and the young. I believe governments should do something Correct your spelling
elderly
for
Change preposition
about
this
problem.
First of all, young job
seekers might think that older people
usuallly
have more experience and knowledge as well. Companies would pick whoever is more professional because they want to reduce money and time. Correct your spelling
usually
As a result
, more young people
would be unemployed and they would feel frustrated and depressed. Even worse, they would just give up on finding another job
. However
, companies also
prefer workers who are likely to stay longer. So, from old people
's perspectives, they might think there is a higher chance of hiring younger ones. Especially, those who got laid off or had a long break from work won't be as competitive as in the market. In the end, they will be mentally stressed and under pressure.
To tackle this
problem, I believe governments' efforts are crucial. They should make
more Verb problem
create
job
opportunities for people
who are not as talented or smart as others. For example
, they can get a job
at a community centre or a public library. First,
those are easier than other jobs relatively. Second,
they can learn from there and can make money at the same time. Also
, in terms of the law, they need to extend at what age people
should retire. As we live longer than ever these days, we should not let
old Verb problem
keep
people
isolated in our society and still should give them opportunities.
In conclusion, I think it's hard to avoid the situation. However
, if goverments
try to give as many opportunities to everyone, we will probably Correct your spelling
governments
government
able
to make Add a missing verb
be able
this
situation better.Submitted by dob.jeong on
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coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between the two perspectives discussed – younger and older job seekers.
task achievement
Avoid minor spelling mistakes like 'problemes' should be 'problems' and 'eldery' should be 'elderly.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the scene by identifying the need to view the problem from different age perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well.
task achievement
Addresses both causes of the issue and possible solutions involving government intervention.
task achievement
Utilizes specific examples, such as jobs at community centers, to illustrate solutions.
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