IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

May people prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life , whereas others prefer to c h a n g e the type of work. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion.

#people #type #work #life #c #h #n #g #e
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To a certain extent, I agree that some
people
 enjoy doing the same
job
 in the same way every day.
However
, I
Correct your spelling
also
atso
Correct your spelling
also
 understand why others prefer to change their
jobs
 frequently: On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, there are many advantages to staying in the same
job
.
For instance
, routine provides a sense of
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability
 and organization. Many
people
 prefer
this
 because it helps them manage their daily
responsiblities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
.
For example
, families with children often need to stick to a fixed schedule,
such
 as taking their kids to school at 7:00 AM.
Additionally
, some
people
 enjoy a quiet life and avoid
achentures
Correct your spelling
ventures
adventures
 or risks. For these reasons,
lagree
Correct your spelling
agree
 with those who prefer to remain in the same
job
 because # offers them a comfortable and
precictable
Correct your spelling
predictable
 ife.
On the other hand
, there are
people
 who like to change their
jobs
 every few months or years.
This
 could be
due to
 their hobbies or diverse interests. For
cample
Correct your spelling
sample
show examples
, my brother enjoys both writing articles and teaching mathematics, and he manages his time to do both
jobs
simultancously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
.
Moreover
, individuals who are not married or do not have
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
 may have more free time to explore various careers. Personally, I sometimes disagree with
this
 approach because, in my opinion, if I love my
job
, I
wit
Verb problem
will
show examples
nover
Correct your spelling
never
 change it.
Furthermore
, changing
jobs
 frequently can be financially risky, as finding a new
job
 quickly is not always
guarantend
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
. in conclusion, there are both positive and negative aspects to each
approsch
Correct your spelling
approach
. it is
grest
Correct your spelling
great
 to have multiple hobbies and interests, but
people
 who value peace and
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability
 may find it better to stay in the same
job
.
Submitted by rihas89s on

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language
Review the essay for minor spelling errors such as 'atso,' 'achentures,' 'lagree,' etc. These don't drastically affect the score but improving them will polish the essay.
task achievement
Include specific examples in the paragraphs discussing people who change jobs frequently. This will strengthen your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point made is fully supported. Some main ideas could benefit from further development or examples.
introduction
The essay opens with a clear statement that acknowledges both positions, setting a balanced tone for discussion.
logical structure
The essay follows a logical order, discussing one perspective before the other and then presenting your opinion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, aligning well with your initial opinion.
task achievement
You successfully conveyed multiple perspectives while presenting your opinion in a clear and personal manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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