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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
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It is said that people who live abroad in countries where they must speak in a
language
 other than their mother tongue might encounter severe issues in their social life.
While
 there are individuals who de-emphasize
this
 problem, I absolutely agree with the former group. The most essential tool to start a life in a new society is undoubtedly the
language
. It means that you would barely survive if you couldn’t speak in your country of destination’s
language
. As it is the pivotal means of communication, a lack of verbal ability would lead to loneliness and serious psychological problems.
For example
, any migrants who enter a new country have to address a variety of issues like getting accommodation, finding a job and dealing with many documents which would be a daunting challenge without
language
 skills.
This
 inability may cause a vicious cycle of feelings of incompetency, depression and social detachment which may lead to an immigration failure. Finding a career is a vital part of any immigration plan. As communicating with others is an essential feature of any job,
language
 proficiency is a must. Lack of skills in
this
 matter would make it difficult to find suitable work for any individual even if he is pretty skilled in his field.
Moreover
, Unemployment means financial incapability which can add enormous pressure on every newcomer.
For instance
, statistics show that the rate of unemployment is significantly higher among foreigners in most countries around the world.
This
 in turn could lead to serious psychosocial troubles for any immigrants.
Submitted by drmmdi on

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task achievement
Make sure your essay addresses all parts of the task. You have done well in discussing social and practical problems, but you could provide more examples or details for a fully rounded response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion effectively set the context and summarize your argument. Your essay has a good introduction but lacks a definitive conclusion.
task achievement
While your main points are supported, try to incorporate more diverse examples to enhance your argument.
task achievement
The essay has a clear thesis statement that aligns with your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The ideas in your essay are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of language challenges faced by immigrants.
task achievement
Your use of vocabulary related to the topic is effective and appropriate.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
What to do next:
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