In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
More and more
people
are choosing to work with a personal trainer
instead
of joining sport groups or
exercise
classes.
This
essay will discuss why
this
is happening and if it is a positive trend. reasons: There is a list of the potential causes for increasing amount of fitness coaches hiring.
Firstly
,
people
did not see the expected results from sports and group classes.
As a result
, they decided to find a person to guide them individually and provide more specific advices.
Secondly
,
gym
trainers might create healthy menu instructions, which could be seen as a benefit.
Finally
, my personal reason as well,
people
started to recognize, that incorrect
exercise
technik might harm and they need a knowledgeble person to make
exercise
safe. Positive: There is a lot of benefits to
exercise
with a personal
gym
coach. Professional fitness
instructor
could help individual to achieve their goals quicker, make their
gym
journey exciting and safe, provide moral support and healthy diet recommendations.
Moreover
, it could give an additional motivation to go to the
gym
, as there is a person who waits for you there. Negative: Unfortunately, there are negative sides to the personal traning as well. As an example, individual might believe their
gym
instructor
blindly, but not all of them are competent and professional. I would even say, that coaches might shame their clients for the smallest mistakes.
For example
, there is a trainer, who critisized his client for a cucumber salad, like it is
such
an unhealthy choice.
In addition
, there are trainers who do not pay enouth attention to their trainees and spend most of the training session in their phones. Obviously, it is a waste of money to
exercise
with
this
type of
gym
instructor
. Conclusion: In conclusion, increasing interest in personal
gym
training is a positive trend. Personal trainer could help
people
to build their dream body and improve their health, but it is crucial to find a competent
instructor
.
Submitted by totora246 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay flows smoothly from one point to the next. Consider using transitional phrases more frequently to guide the reader through your argument and maintain the logical structure.
Task Achievement
Strengthen the explanation and examples for each point to improve task achievement. Providing more detailed examples related to personal experiences or widely-known scenarios will enhance the response.
Task Achievement
Be careful with typing errors and minor inaccuracies, such as 'technik' instead of 'technique' and 'enouth' instead of 'enough'. Although they don't greatly impact comprehension, fixing them will contribute to a more polished essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong structure for your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of hiring a personal trainer, covering the main points of the topic.
Task Achievement
The personal example used regarding an instructor criticizing a salad choice adds authenticity and relevance to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: