In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.
More and more
people
are choosing to work with a personal trainer instead
of joining sport groups or exercise
classes. This
essay will discuss why this
is happening and if it is a positive trend.
reasons:
There is a list of the potential causes for increasing amount of fitness coaches hiring. Firstly
, people
did not see the expected results from sports and group classes. As a result
, they decided to find a person to guide them individually and provide more specific advices. Secondly
, gym
trainers might create healthy menu instructions, which could be seen as a benefit. Finally
, my personal reason as well, people
started to recognize, that incorrect exercise
technik might harm and they need a knowledgeble person to make exercise
safe.
Positive:
There is a lot of benefits to exercise
with a personal gym
coach. Professional fitness instructor
could help individual to achieve their goals quicker, make their gym
journey exciting and safe, provide moral support and healthy diet recommendations. Moreover
, it could give an additional motivation to go to the gym
, as there is a person who waits for you there.
Negative:
Unfortunately, there are negative sides to the personal traning as well. As an example, individual might believe their gym
instructor
blindly, but not all of them are competent and professional. I would even say, that coaches might shame their clients for the smallest mistakes. For example
, there is a trainer, who critisized his client for a cucumber salad, like it is such
an unhealthy choice. In addition
, there are trainers who do not pay enouth attention to their trainees and spend most of the training session in their phones. Obviously, it is a waste of money to exercise
with this
type of gym
instructor
.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, increasing interest in personal gym
training is a positive trend. Personal trainer could help people
to build their dream body and improve their health, but it is crucial to find a competent instructor
.Submitted by totora246 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay flows smoothly from one point to the next. Consider using transitional phrases more frequently to guide the reader through your argument and maintain the logical structure.
Task Achievement
Strengthen the explanation and examples for each point to improve task achievement. Providing more detailed examples related to personal experiences or widely-known scenarios will enhance the response.
Task Achievement
Be careful with typing errors and minor inaccuracies, such as 'technik' instead of 'technique' and 'enouth' instead of 'enough'. Although they don't greatly impact comprehension, fixing them will contribute to a more polished essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong structure for your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of hiring a personal trainer, covering the main points of the topic.
Task Achievement
The personal example used regarding an instructor criticizing a salad choice adds authenticity and relevance to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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