in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
IT IS WIDELY BELIEVED THAT WORKING HARD RESULTS IN SUCCESS. EVEN THOUGH
THIS
FEATURE HELPS TO GET ACHIEVEMENT
, IT Verb problem
ACHIEVE
ALSO
HAS SOME DRAWBACKS.
ON THE ONE HAND, WORKING HARD BRINGS ACCOMPLISHMENT, AS THE KEY FACTOR FOR SUCCESS IS WORKING HARD. IT IS GIVEN AS ADVICE TO YOUNG GENERATION BY PARENTS AND TEACHERS. THROUGH THE WORKING HARD THEY ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS, WORKING HARDER GETTING
BETTER RESULTS IS A MOTTO FOR MOST OF Correct word choice
AND GETTING
CHILDREN
. IT AFFECTS Add an article
THE CHILDREN
ALSO
THEIR FUTURE, PROVIDING THAT THEY WORK HARD, THEY ARE HABITUATED IT
FROM Change preposition
TO IT
AT
AN EARLY AGE. Change preposition
apply
FOR INSTANCE
, THERE ARE LOTS OF SKILLED CHILDREN
IN THE WORLD, BUT THEY ARE EASILY DISTRACTED AND LOSE THEIR MOTIVATION, WORKING HARD MAY FOSTER THEIR CAPABILTY
AND PUSH THE LIMITS.
Correct your spelling
CAPABILITY
ON THE OTHER HAND
, THERE ARE ALSO
DISADVANTAGES OF HEARING WORK
HARD AT AN EARLY AGE. FROM TIME TO TIME, SOME Wrong verb form
WORKING
CHILDREN
HAVE UNIQUE CHARACTERS, SO HEARING IT TOO MUCH MAKES THEM TO
FEEL Fix the infinitive
apply
LESS-CONFIDENT
. APART FROM THAT, TEACHERS Correct your spelling
LESS CONFIDENT
FORCES
THEIR Correct subject-verb agreement
FORCE
CHILDREN
AND PILE UP A LOT OF TASKS, SO IT EXCESS THEIR CAPABILITY AND MAKE SITATION WORSE. RESEARCHS
SHOW THAT FEELING UNDER PRESSURE, Correct your spelling
RESEARCH
RESULTED
IN FAILURE.
Replace the word
RESULTS
TO CONCLUDE
, WHILE
WORKING HARD HAS SOME BENEFITS, IT CAN ALSO
RUIN THE LIFE. THEREFORE
, PARENTS AND EDUCATORS HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WHAT THEY SAY TO CHILDREN
.Submitted by afaaslanova07 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs by using linking words or phrases. This will help the reader easily follow your argument.
task achievement
Develop more specific examples to reinforce your points. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify some of the main ideas to ensure they are communicated more clearly and effectively. This will improve the overall comprehensibility of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and establishes the focus of the essay, which is important for setting the context for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position, providing a cohesive end to the essay.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?