Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

For me, I disagree. Why? Now I will tell you. In the past people didn'
t
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have the internet and machinery which meant they needed to visit museums,
however
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, now they can see art on their
phones
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On the other hand
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. Why do I disagree? Because on another hand,
phones
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damage our eyes and
phones
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, for me that means I can'
t
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have fun
such
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as what art and old things in the museum I can touch .
Also
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, the doctor suggests not using
phones
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for a lot of time because you will damage your fingers and your eyes. What is the benefit of using
phones
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? I can'
t
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believe that our society will use computers in everything even if it will make our life easier but,what is the benefit
.
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?
show examples
Humans will be stupid if they only use automation. Visiting museums with family is a really great feeling. But how about seeing a masterpiece
while
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?using iPads and without your family. It is extremely worse. So,will you change your opinion about these? Not only that but
also
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,take time with family, you will get many memories in the future but, if you don'
t
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get a lot of time with your family in the future you will say to yourself why didn'
t
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It? Why
this
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generation don'
t
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like to take care of their family? I will tell you. Because they only want to win in that game, after winning what is the positive thing you got it? Nothing. But when you have a conversation with your brother or your sister it's a good thing
furthermore
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,about museums,okay maybe you will say I don'
t
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want to go with my family. It's wrong but
also
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, you can go with your friend or with your uncle,or anyone you want to go together. So, now do you agree?

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coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph discusses a single main point.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples and data in your arguments to support your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on developing a stronger introduction and conclusion to give your essay a clearer structure.
task achievement
You show a strong personal opinion on the topic, which helps express your stance clearly.
task achievement
Your emotional appeal to family connections is a compelling aspect of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual tours
  • digital archives
  • art appreciation
  • cultural heritage
  • historical objects
  • curating artifacts
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • tangible experience
  • technological advancements
  • cultural institutions
  • accessibility
  • authenticity
  • immersive experience
  • civic engagement
  • cultural enrichment
  • educational outreach
  • visitor engagement
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