Prevention is better than cure” Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extend do you agree?

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In the modern world, a sea change in the priorities of
people
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has been observed regarding the medical field.
People
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believe that forestallation of disease is conductive
instead
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of it's curing. In my opinion, I align with the viewpoint that
although
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prevention is of paramount importance, research and treatment should be available to mitigate future risks to human health.
To begin
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with, precluding
illness
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and bacterial infection prevents the human body from suffering bad experiences of the ailment, and even it not only helps to maintain body processes but
also
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does not alter the immune system of
people
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.
Moreover
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, prevention of
illness
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also
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reduces the cost associated with therapy and human life.
For instance
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, a survey suggested that the actuarial related to
people
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's health is 60 per cent depends on individuals' concerns and cautiousness regarding their health.
Thus
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, it is conclusively clear that to mitigate the negative effects on the body and expenditure, it is crucial to prevent disease
instead
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of curing it, so investment in preventative measures enables us to mitigate future well-being risks.
However
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, exemption from researching and treating disease is indispensable, because exposure to
illness
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needs therapy and research to forestall future pernicious effects of the disorder. To illustrate that, several deaths
due to
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covid-19 virus could be thwarted, if scientists conduct proper investigation in that area.
Additionally
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, some diseases,
such
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as skin cancer, cannot be prevented by being careful about well-being. The main cause of skin cancer is sun rays and harmful elements in the air; both air and sun radiation are significant for
people
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's lives.
Therefore
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, it can be evident that scientists and doctors should promote treatment and experimentation relevant to
illness
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. In conclusion,
while
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prevention is better than cure and the government should invest in preventative measures, research and therapy of diseases
also
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prevent many unexpected and unpreventable illnesses.
Submitted by sangeetakamboz on

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coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more logically, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use linking words and phrases like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'therefore' to help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are adequately defined, which effectively frames your essay. Make sure to keep these sections clear and concise, introducing and summarizing the main points clearly.
task achievement
While you have provided relevant ideas, try to offer more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed and fully developed. Consider expanding on each point with additional information to improve comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the main argument and outlines the essay structure, setting a clear expectation for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a well-rounded summary that encapsulates the argument, effectively tying together the overall discussion.
task achievement
The response adequately addresses the task prompt by discussing both prevention and the need for research and treatment, providing a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive care
  • prevalence
  • healthcare budgets
  • public health campaigns
  • healthy lifestyles
  • long-term benefits
  • early detection
  • intervention
  • severe stages
  • accessibility
  • public compliance
  • unpredictability
  • ethical considerations
  • resource allocation
  • lifestyle diseases
  • mitigate
  • global disparities
  • high-income countries
  • low-income countries
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