IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until seven years of age, discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #children #seven #years #age
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While
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 some believe in the idea of kickstarting the academic schooling of
children
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 at an early
age
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, others reckon to delay the process until a kid turns seven
years
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olds
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old
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. Introducing
kids
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 to formal education can help in the cognitive development of their brains,
as well as
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 lay the strong basement for their future
career
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careers
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.
However
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, I believe,
not
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that not
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 initiating schooling for
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 few
years
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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children
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 more time to connect with their
parents
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 and develop new creative interests.
First
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 and foremost, preschool
have
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has
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 been helping little ones to develop the ability to think learn and remember.
This
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 development,
furthermore
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 helps the youngsters to perform extraordinary in their formal education. Ultimately,
children
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 who have an early start
,
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apply
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 can easily surpass other
kids
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 who
stayed
Wrong verb form
stay
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 at home.Not only young
kids
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 can score higher grades in school but are likely to achieve prestige positions in high-end colleges
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hence
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and hence
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 become successful in life.
For example
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, the average grades of
kids
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 who have started at the
age
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 of three in comparison to the
age
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 of seven
years
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is
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are
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 significantly higher. I
consider
Verb problem
believe
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parents
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 and
children
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 can deeply connect with each other during
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 few
years
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 and
kids
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 can be motivated to take part in other innovative skills.
That is
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 to say,
one
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apply
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on one
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one-on-one
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 time with their
parents
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 can help them learn fundamental morals and ethics.
Moreover
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, having all
this
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 free time can push youngsters to become creative and imaginative.
Children
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 can show willingness
in learning
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to learn
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 to sing songs, play baseball and
painting
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paint
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.
For instance
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, Justin Bieber
develops
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developed
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 an interest in music at a very young
age
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and decided to pursue it as a career. In conclusion,
Although
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, sending
kids
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 to school in
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 few
years
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, can make them intelligent and successful in
Correct pronoun usage
their lives
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lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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, giving them
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 few
years
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of
Change preposition
apply
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can be a building blog of their love for
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parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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 and something extraordinary and artistic.
Submitted by arvindpreet5040 on

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relevant support
Ensure each paragraph elaborates adequately on a single point with sufficient detail. More specific examples could strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Consider addressing potential counter-arguments to provide a more balanced discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making the argument easy to follow.
logical structure
Your writing maintains a logical flow, with each paragraph neatly linking to the next.
supported main points
The main points are supported by relevant arguments, allowing for a cohesive understanding of your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • formal education
  • receptive to learning
  • absorb information
  • social skills
  • interactive learning
  • structured educational environment
  • cognitive and motor skills
  • play-based learning
  • emotional development
  • creativity
  • natural learning processes
  • peer interaction
  • stress and burnout
  • academic performance
  • developmental readiness
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