Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days people argue that mobile
phones
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should be strictly prohibited for
children
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during the
school
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day.
While
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others believe that using
phones
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should have a beneficial effect during the
school
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day.
This
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essay will discuss both views and lately my opinion regarding
this
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. Using
phones
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in recent years is necessary for many reasons. Young
school
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-going
children
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need to be allowed to
use
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their
phones
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to do research or connect with their families.
For example
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, a study at Harvard University shows that schools that allow their
students
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to
use
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their
phones
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during the
school
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day have higher grades in final year study rather than schools that ban their
students
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from using
phones
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. In modern studies,
students
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need
phones
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to have effective learning including available study materials, books, notes, research articles, and updated information.
Moreover
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, through
phones
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, the family can be connected with their
children
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's location (by sharing their location) and by video call. On the other side, people who say that schools should be banned using
phones
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think that because
phones
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have many drawbacks for young people.
For instance
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, most of the
students
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started using their
phones
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just to watch movies or
use
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social media.
Additionally
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, in recent times a published article in India revealed that young
children
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aged between 11 to 18 years, spend more time watching adult video content through mobile
phones
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.
This
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has had a negative impact on their brain and
promotes
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
crime in recent days leading to a number
in
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of
show examples
rape cases in India nowadays. In my point of view, I strongly agree that using mobile
phones
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must boost the knowledge of
students
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and they should be allowed to do more.
However
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, parents and teachers should track their moves on
phones
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and which websites they usually surf should be monitored.
To sum up
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, using mobiles during
school
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days has two sides. Connecting with family and boosting the knowledge in research are the positive sites
whereas
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wasting time by watching movies and adult content are the harmful sites. I strongly agree that should be allowed to
use
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phones
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thinking of the huge positive impact on their education.
Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing to clearly separate different ideas and arguments, ensuring that one main point is addressed per paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs remain smooth and logical, helping guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Enhance your task response by directly addressing the question in your introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your stance from the beginning.
task achievement
Strive for greater clarity by explicitly linking back to the main topic in each paragraph, reinforcing the focus on the prompt.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples and anecdotal references, which make your arguments stronger and show a real-world understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a balanced discussion of the two views with your opinion clearly stated at the end, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion neatly summarizes the main points discussed, effectively reinforcing your opinion and the key ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
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