Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
These days people argue that mobile
phones
should be strictly prohibited for children
during the school
day. While
others believe that using phones
should have a beneficial effect during the school
day. This
essay will discuss both views and lately my opinion regarding this
.
Using phones
in recent years is necessary for many reasons. Young school
-going children
need to be allowed to use
their phones
to do research or connect with their families. For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that schools that allow their students
to use
their phones
during the school
day have higher grades in final year study rather than schools that ban their students
from using phones
. In modern studies, students
need phones
to have effective learning including available study materials, books, notes, research articles, and updated information. Moreover
, through phones
, the family can be connected with their children
's location (by sharing their location) and by video call.
On the other side, people who say that schools should be banned using phones
think that because phones
have many drawbacks for young people. For instance
, most of the students
started using their phones
just to watch movies or use
social media. Additionally
, in recent times a published article in India revealed that young children
aged between 11 to 18 years, spend more time watching adult video content through mobile phones
. This
has had a negative impact on their brain and promotes
crime in recent days leading to a number Wrong verb form
promoted
in
rape cases in India nowadays. In my point of view, I strongly agree that using mobile Change preposition
of
phones
must boost the knowledge of students
and they should be allowed to do more. However
, parents and teachers should track their moves on phones
and which websites they usually surf should be monitored.
To sum up
, using mobiles during school
days has two sides. Connecting with family and boosting the knowledge in research are the positive sites whereas
wasting time by watching movies and adult content are the harmful sites. I strongly agree that should be allowed to use
phones
thinking of the huge positive impact on their education.Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing to clearly separate different ideas and arguments, ensuring that one main point is addressed per paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs remain smooth and logical, helping guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Enhance your task response by directly addressing the question in your introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your stance from the beginning.
task achievement
Strive for greater clarity by explicitly linking back to the main topic in each paragraph, reinforcing the focus on the prompt.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples and anecdotal references, which make your arguments stronger and show a real-world understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a balanced discussion of the two views with your opinion clearly stated at the end, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion neatly summarizes the main points discussed, effectively reinforcing your opinion and the key ideas.