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Band 4.5

People have to spend more and more time to travel their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

#people #time #travel #homes #jobs #study
Nowadays
people
 tend to spend increasingly more time
to come
Change the verb form
coming
show examples
 home from work and
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
 and back. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons for
this
 trend;
however
, the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
primary one is the price increase in the transportation sector, and in order to diminish possible effects some measures like
placement
Add an article
the placement
show examples
 of free transport should be implemented. There is a firm belief that
this
 problem is mainly caused by the rising prices, and it is particularly true since a rising number of
people
 are no longer able to afford
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 and other
vehicles rental
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle rentals
show examples
 making their commute
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
longer.
Additionally
, public transport systems are often overcrowded and unreliable, which forces
people
 to turn to more expensive private transportation options,
further
 extending their travel time.
On the other hand
, some steps must be
done
Verb problem
taken
show examples
 to prevent the spread of
this
 very problem.
Therefore
, a possible solution I can suggest is the establishment of
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 which will offer its customers free bikes and other transportation modes without a charge, which will definitely result in positive outcomes. These initiatives could encourage
people
 to use more sustainable modes of transport, reduce traffic congestion, lessen the
overall
 financial burden, and more importantly - return the amount of time they spend on
commute
Wrong verb form
commuting
show examples
 to its original value. In conclusion,
although
 an extended commute might lead to potential setbacks and unpleasant consequences, fortunately, some preventive measures like the establishment of
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 exist.
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task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the reasons why the rising prices are hindering people's commuting time as well as other potential causes.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and transitions smoothly to the next one to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the task with potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
Logical organization of causes and solutions is maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • property prices
  • commute
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • peak hours
  • centralization
  • urbanized areas
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