More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, a vast majority of
people
have suffered overweight. Many Use synonyms
individuals
claim that to solve a problem is to elevate the Use synonyms
price
of fat-containing Use synonyms
foods
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
tendency has a detrimental impact on the economy, I mostly disagree that increasing prices can deter Linking Words
people
from consuming unhealthy Use synonyms
food
.
Admittedly, increased prices of fattening Use synonyms
foods
play an essential role in order to grapple with a problem. A major reason is that Use synonyms
this
phenomenon incentivizes Linking Words
people
to healthier Use synonyms
food
choices. If they become intake naturally eatable, they will be healthier. Use synonyms
For instance
, in Finland, Linking Words
individuals
tend to consume more nutrition-rich Use synonyms
food
because of the expensive cost of fast Use synonyms
food
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
tendency has a devastating impact on low-income families. Linking Words
This
means that Linking Words
individuals
who rely on cheaper, fatty Use synonyms
foods
to meet their regular diet face financial instability. Use synonyms
Therefore
, an increase in the Linking Words
price
of fast Use synonyms
food
has not always lasting effect on the country.
Use synonyms
Additionally
, the proponents of the view against an increase in the Linking Words
price
of junk Use synonyms
food
suggest that it affects negatively the Use synonyms
food
industry. One of the obvious reasons is that the selling of fattening Use synonyms
foods
in fast Use synonyms
food
restaurants might decline owing to lower demand. As long as these businesses are able to experience a significant decrease in their income, they will pay little money to the country. Use synonyms
Hence
, it has a profound impact on not only fast-Linking Words
food
chains but Use synonyms
also
the budget of the country. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the authorities could implement some precautions rather than raising the Linking Words
price
of fattening nutrients. As an example, in Turkey, advertising has been used to promote Use synonyms
individuals
which leads to mitigation of the overweight rate. Use synonyms
Therefore
, other solutions can help Linking Words
people
to grapple with obesity.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
a growth in the Linking Words
price
of fatting nourishment could encourage Use synonyms
individuals
to healthier ones, I am of the opinion that Use synonyms
this
pattern has a profound influence on not only society but Linking Words
also
the economy. Linking Words
Hence
, there are better options in order to avoid obesity, Linking Words
such
as raising public awareness.Linking Words
Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistent use of vocabulary throughout your essay to avoid confusion. For example, 'overeating' and 'overweight' are used but the topic focuses on 'overweight.'
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion; explain counter-arguments with equal depth as your main arguments, especially in persuasive essays.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, some sentences could be simplified to improve readability. Consider breaking down long sentences.
introduction conclusion
You have clearly stated your viewpoint in the introduction and provided a suitable conclusion.
supported main points
Your essay presents relevant examples that support your main points effectively.
logical structure
Excellent effort in exploring both sides of the argument regarding the impact of increasing the price of unhealthy foods.