More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods

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Recently, a vast majority of

people

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have suffered overweight. Many

individuals

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claim that to solve a problem is to elevate the

price

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of fat-containing

foods

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However

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this

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tendency has a detrimental impact on the economy, I mostly disagree that increasing prices can deter

people

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from consuming unhealthy

food

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. Admittedly, increased prices of fattening

foods

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play an essential role in order to grapple with a problem. A major reason is that

this

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phenomenon incentivizes

people

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to healthier

food

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choices. If they become intake naturally eatable, they will be healthier.

For instance

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, in Finland,

individuals

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tend to consume more nutrition-rich

food

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because of the expensive cost of fast

food

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However

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this

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tendency has a devastating impact on low-income families.

This

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means that

individuals

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who rely on cheaper, fatty

foods

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to meet their regular diet face financial instability.

Therefore

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, an increase in the

price

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of fast

food

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has not always lasting effect on the country.

Additionally

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, the proponents of the view against an increase in the

price

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of junk

food

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suggest that it affects negatively the

food

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industry. One of the obvious reasons is that the selling of fattening

foods

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in fast

food

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restaurants might decline owing to lower demand. As long as these businesses are able to experience a significant decrease in their income, they will pay little money to the country.

Hence

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, it has a profound impact on not only fast-

food

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chains but

also

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the budget of the country.

Furthermore

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, the authorities could implement some precautions rather than raising the

price

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of fattening nutrients. As an example, in Turkey, advertising has been used to promote

individuals

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which leads to mitigation of the overweight rate.

Therefore

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, other solutions can help

people

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to grapple with obesity. In conclusion,

while

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a growth in the

price

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of fatting nourishment could encourage

individuals

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to healthier ones, I am of the opinion that

this

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pattern has a profound influence on not only society but

also

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the economy.

Hence

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, there are better options in order to avoid obesity,

such

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as raising public awareness.

Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on Thu Nov 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to maintain consistent use of vocabulary throughout your essay to avoid confusion. For example, 'overeating' and 'overweight' are used but the topic focuses on 'overweight.'

task achievement

Ensure a balanced discussion; explain counter-arguments with equal depth as your main arguments, especially in persuasive essays.

task achievement

While your ideas are clear, some sentences could be simplified to improve readability. Consider breaking down long sentences.

introduction conclusion

You have clearly stated your viewpoint in the introduction and provided a suitable conclusion.

supported main points

Your essay presents relevant examples that support your main points effectively.

logical structure

Excellent effort in exploring both sides of the argument regarding the impact of increasing the price of unhealthy foods.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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