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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is commonly believed by many that in
this
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 21st century, individuals across the globe are residing in better living conditions compared to those of the previous generations. The writer,
however
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, remains unconvinced by
this
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 school of thought because of countless natural disasters
coupled with
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 the ever-rising living costs contemporarily.
Initially
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, it must be recognized that during
this
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 21st century, humans have faced numerous hazardous disasters annually. Since many human-induced activities in
this
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 day and age
such
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 as deforestation, land degradation, excessive use of private vehicles, and manufacturing industries result in severe damage to the natural environment,
this
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 leads to many changes in their living conditions.
For instance
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, the massive usage of cars has led to carbon dioxide emissions, which in turn causes drought seriously affecting agriculture and leading to long-term starvation afterwards.
Moreover
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, some developing countries, including Thailand, have estimated a notable increase in heavy rainfall rates recently and,
therefore
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, are struggling with the problem of floods each year.
Additionally
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, the constantly increasing costs of living must be taken into consideration. To clarify, having been away from external wars and conflicts, national economies in various nations have been developed significantly,
thus
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 authorities can improve social amenities
such
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 as medical centres, educational systems, infrastructure, and transportation to enhance citizens' living quality. These developments,
nonetheless
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, require an enormous amount of investment to take place,
consequently
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, governments are taxing heavily their local people.
As a result
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, the present costs of living, especially those in metropolitan areas, are rising dramatically, thereby leading residents to deal with serious financial burdens and other problems. Specifically, the United Kingdom is a prime example of
this
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, where citizens are obsessed with the ever-rising level of taxes every year,
thus
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 forcing some to opt for living abroad for their whole lives. In conclusion, it has been demonstrated that individuals are struggling with numerous issues related to their quality of life including natural dangers
along with
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 the rising required taxes these days. It is,
furthermore
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, apparent that in the future, these tendencies will continue to occur,
consequently
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 threatening people's survival.

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task achievement
While your essay addresses the prompt effectively, it would benefit from a more balanced discussion. Consider acknowledging the advancements and improvements in quality of life in the 21st century before stating your reasons for disagreeing. This would demonstrate a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Aim to slightly improve the logical flow between paragraphs. For example, connecting the ideas about natural disasters and increasing living costs more seamlessly can enhance the coherence of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument with sufficient details and transitions. Despite strong points, occasionally elaborating on certain ideas more deeply can make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay presents specific examples and evidence, particularly in the discussion about the United Kingdom and the impact of rising living costs. This specificity strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively framed, providing a solid structure for your essay. This enhances the readability and overall coherence of your work.
coherence cohesion
Clear topic sentences and well-organized paragraphs contribute significantly to the logical structure and flow of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Healthcare improvements
  • Economic growth
  • Social changes
  • Global connectivity
  • Standard of living
  • Life expectancy
  • Gender equality
  • Legal rights
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Access to information
  • Environmental concerns
  • Sustainable development
  • Stress levels
  • Quality of life
  • Medical progress
  • Job opportunities
  • Income disparity
  • Life satisfaction
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