IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that goverments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that
education
Use synonyms
 is the most essential part of children's holistic growth since many people claim that the government should cover all the expenses for their studies
such
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 as their university fees rather than looking at their social background. I partially agree with
this
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 notion
due to
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 the reasons explained in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the reasons why authorities should not provide free
education
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 to all.
Firstly
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, it makes them dependent on others for everything and the habit of reliability has had an adverse impact on children's future. To be precise, when they have to pay their whole tuition fee on their own, it becomes their responsibility and to do so, they have to do part-time work which teaches them the value of
money
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.
For instance
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, international students are the best example of
this
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 because they earn and spend
money
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according to
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 their own will.
Hence
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, they try to spend their hard-earned
money
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 for their betterment rather than wasting it on useless products.
Secondly
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, it aids in making them self-reliable, a person who takes their decision on their own related to their study and others because they are independent now and know what is good and bad for them.
Therefore
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, by looking at children like
this
Linking Words
 it feels that the future of the country is in safe hands.
However
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,
education
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 is considered a fundamental right, and providing free educational institutes ensures that individuals from all financial backgrounds have an equal opportunity to achieve higher
education
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 and improve their socio-economic status. Meanwhile, if everyone has access to higher knowledge it helps them get a good job which indirectly provides benefits to the government as by investing in
education
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, they can create a more knowledgeable and skilled workforce, which leads to economic growth, innovation and more competitive market as they are the one who pays a hefty amount of taxes after getting their job.
Thus
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, the
money
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 they spend on students
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 back to them after
sometimes
Correct your spelling
some time
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.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 providing
money
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 to students for their
education
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 helps them
in gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion; it's currently incomplete.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, which will enhance clarity and persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction that presents the viewpoint and outlines the structure of the essay.
task achievement
Addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equitable access
  • Socio-economic status
  • Economic growth
  • Skilled workforce
  • Student debt
  • Social mobility
  • Cycle of poverty
  • Financial burdens
  • Education quality
  • Public services
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