Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In today’s fast-paced society, people are in the face of pressure in various aspects of life, so they opt for multitasking as a solution.
While
this
approach is favoured by many, others have an adverse opinion
due to
its drawbacks. From my perspective,
this
working habit has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, doing many duties at the same
time
offers some upsides. First and foremost, it is believed to be a
time
-saving method.
In other words
,
instead
of taking turns accomplishing the assignments, multitaskers with
time
management skills can finish their workload in a short period of
time
. What is more,
this
style of work can avoid the feeling of boredom during work. By way of example, in the process of doing a large amount of work, office workers may find it tedious to meet the deadlines in
time
. Thanks to the development of technology, listening to music or surfing the internet
while
working is an exciting way to unwind and relieve stress. It can be seen that there are some positive sides to multitasking.
On the other hand
,
this
working style
also
presents downsides. The first one is about the decrease in productivity. In
this
digital era, when individuals use cell phones as a form of relaxation, they can immerse themselves in social media with ease.
For instance
, many young students are addicted to short videos on TikTok, which leaves the consequence of distraction issues.
As a result
, it is considered to be a contributor to their terrible academic performance at school.
Moreover
, it
also
increases the
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
of being depressed and stressed. It is obvious that mental health may be influenced negatively if the young force themselves to finish more than one job simultaneously. In conclusion, multitasking has both benefits
such
as saving
time
and decreasing the level of boredom and downsides which include less effectiveness and detrimental emotions. In my opinion, it is essential to strike a balance by considering the nature of their tasks and the potential consequences before engaging in multitasking behaviour.
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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively presents a balanced discussion on the topic of multitasking, covering both pros and cons before stating your own opinion, which aligns well with the requirements. To further enhance task achievement, consider expanding on your own opinion with specific examples or experiences that solidify your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've managed to structure your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. To further improve coherence, try to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs with more varied transitional phrases.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay makes good use of supporting details for each viewpoint, which strengthens the overall argument. For an even stronger essay, consider introducing counterarguments within each body paragraph and refuting them. This could add depth to your discussion and highlight your critical thinking skills.
Task Achievement
Effective balancing of pros and cons regarding multitasking, leading to a comprehensive discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clear logical structure, with distinct sections that make the essay easy to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Relevant examples, such as the mention of TikTok affecting students, which illustrate your points vividly.
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